Apple Introduces iCondom

Apple, maker of the I CondomApple, following up on the success of its iPhone has introduced the iCondom.  In a heavily-attended press conference, Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced the latest revolutionary product. Holding the iCondom in his hand, Jobs told assembled reporters that the “iCondom will make life dramatically simpler and more enjoyable for people around the world.”

“Everyone wants to avoid communicable diseases.  Everyone wants the convenience of a cell phone that will enable them to stay in touch with friends and surf the internet.  Well, now we have combined these two.  Before, if one wanted ‘hands-free’ communication one had to wear a bluetooth earpiece.  Now with the iCondom hands-free communication takes on a new form.”

Jobs talked about the many features of the iCondom.

“If you want to read a movie review, the iCondom has an app for that.  If you want to find a Chinese restaurant there is an app for that.  If you want to manage your finances, we have an app for that. If you want to work out around the house, we have an app for that.  And, if you want to have sex, the iCondom even has an app for that.  Not only does the iCondom protect against sexually transmitted disease, but you can Twitter on it!”

As photographers snapped pictures of the iCondom, Jobs demonstrated how it worked by placing it on his penis and then making a call.

“Hello?  This is Steve Jobs and I am talking through my penis.”

Jobs then invited some of the female reporters up to the podium to use the iCondom.  The first reporter used the iCondom to call her parents.

“Mom,  dad.  Guess what? I’m looking at Steve Jobs’ penis and it’s fantastic!”

The iCondom comes in many different sizes, colors and flavors.   There will also be a glow-in-the-dark iCondom which is due out in the Fall.

While reviews of the iCondom have for the most part been favorable, there has been mention of several bugs.  One beta tester complained that while wearing the iCondom his penis would break off in the middle of calls.  Another said that iCondom coverage was not available in many areas.  Still another said that it left him with a rash.  Women complained that they were not able to use the iCondom.  Jobs acknowledged all these bugs and said his development team is currently working on the iVagina, which should be ready by next year.  Reviewers were also taken aback by the high price of the iCondom ($900) and the fact that people who buy the iCondom will have to cancel their current wireless contracts.

Despite these bugs retailers are expecting the iCondom to be a big seller.

“We already have back orders for a month and it hasn’t even gone on sale yet”  said one retailer.  “With the economy the way it is we are looking for anything that’ll improve business and I think the iCondom will help us to keep it up.”


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