What is life?  Where does consciousness come from? Can dead tissue be reanimated? Would the reanimated life have a soul? Why do college-age girls run away from me when I approach them wearing my trench coat?  These questions have haunted me for decades. What does this have to do with the fifth anniversary of my […]

So you’re on your honeymoon and are coming to the Big Apple? No doubt in this special time of your life one of the first things you’ll want to do is take a romantic horse and carriage ride in Central Park. Unfortunately with our new mayor Bill de Blasio (pictured here) set to outlaw carriages […]

For as long as he could remember, Abdul wanted to run his own business. “I wanted to work for myself and make a living doing it.” he said. And I also wanted to kill the infidel. Hey, who wouldn’t.  And I’m good at killing the infidel.  Granted, not as good as I am at boy […]

The political world was shocked today as veteran action movie star Liam Neeson, threatened, tracked down, and beat up the mayor of New York City, Warren Wilhelm, Jr., (better known by his stage name of Bill de Blasio.) The brouhaha started when Wilhelm, Jr. threatened to get rid of the carriage industry in New York […]

In an obvious conciliatory gesture to conservatives in the Church, Pope Francis today publicly called Jesus the “son of God.”   While Francis has often used this language in private, this is believed to be the first time he has used this phrase in public.  Vatican watchers are divided as to what the change means. […]

Shock and disbelief ran through the corridors of the mainstream media today after it was discovered that Pope Francis is Catholic. “How the hell does a thing like this happen” declared Time Magazine’s outraged managing editor, Nancy Gibbs. We just made him our man of the year. If we had known he was Catholic we […]

With there being much confusion regarding the Affordable Care Act (Is the website working, has my insurance company received my payment, when is the deadline) the Obama administration rolled out a new ad featuring the so-called “Pajama Boy” that was supposed to get people talking.  The ad was unsuccessful and Pajama Boy was roundly mocked. […]

Still reeling from the suspension of James T. Kirk for “inappropriate selfie sending“, the United Federation of Planets has implemented new procedures governing communicator protocol. “These communicators are for official business” said the president of the Federation of Planets. We can’t have our officers using them to send out pictures of their private regions.  It’s […]

Tragedy struck when a research ship, studying the effects of global warming was trapped in a flow of ice near Antarctica and crushed, killing all on board. The Russian ship Akademik Shokalskiy became trapped in a thick flow of ice on Christmas day.  All attempts to rescue the passengers and crew were hamperd by the […]

In a move designed to stop the millions, hundreds of thousands, tens of thousands, thousands, hundreds, tens,  absolutely no children from dying of lead poisoning, the Environmental Protection Agency has given New York City until January 4th to replace over 1,000 old hydrants, Under the Reduction of Lead in Drinking Water Act of 2011, the […]