Then therefore, Jeb Bush took Barack and had him scourged.  And the teabaggers platting a crown of thorns, for they watched Game of Thrones a lot on TV, put it upon his head; and they put on him a purple garment. And they came to him and said:  Hail, king of redistribution, and they gave […]

It is an American tradition: the President of the United States gives the speech to the graduating class at the United States Military Academy at West Point.  In keeping with Manhattan Infidel’s mission statement of avoiding another embarrassing morals charge providing my readers with the latest news I now present the transcript of President Obama’s speech. […]

Dear Sir: Enclosed please find your membership card for the National Organization of Outraged Progressives.  Thank you for joining us. As you may know the National Organization of Outraged Progressives has for almost half a decade been at the forefront of spotting white privilege in all shapes and forms. It was the National Organization of […]

While our brave president’s brave wife using hashtag diplomacy to pressure Boko Harum to release the 250 Nigerian schoolgirls they have kidnapped may seem novel, in reality hashtags have a long and storied career in U.S diplomacy. The first known use of a hashtag is credited to Alexander Hamilton, who shortly after his duel with Aaron […]

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the privilege of interviewing retired Episcopalian Bishop Gene Robertson.  Many know Robertson as the first openly gay bishop, whose ordination nearly resulted in a schism in the worldwide Anglican communion. MI: Good afternoon Bishop Robertson. BGR: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.  Are you gay? MI: No but I do enjoy musical theater. BGR:What? […]

Dear applicant: Thank you for applying for a position at the New York Times.  As you may be aware the position of Executive Editor was recently vacated by Jill Abamson, after it was discovered that she was a real woman and not one of the fake ones we in the newsroom enjoy hanging out with. While Ms. […]

In a ground-breaking and historic decision, the Environmental Protection Agency today declared the Atlantic Ocean a “protected wetland.” “This is a great day for the EPA” said its administrator, Gina McCarthy. This is why President Nixon founded the Environmental Protection Agency:  To protect and defend Mother Earth.  Under our new regulations the Atlantic will be […]

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the distinct honor of interviewing a fascinating but reclusive character who rarely grants interviews:  The Loch Ness Monster herself. MI: Good afternoon Bessie.  May I call you Bessie? LNM: No.  My name is Aileen.  Bessie is something the press created.  I hate that name. MI: Okay, Aileen.  Let’s start off with a […]

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing a rare guest to our shores: the Psychrolutes marcidus (better known as the Blobfish). MI: Good afternoon. BF: Good afternoon, mate. MI: So what should I call you?  Psychrolutes?  Blob?   BF: Blob will do. MI: Let’s start out with what everyone wants to know.  You were voted the worlds ugliest […]

Manhattan Infidel was formed for one reason: To make it easier to pick up women Relax everyone’s doing it Jiggers it’s the cops run! To expose the truth! With the news that noted race hustler civil rights leader Al Sharpton wore a wire for the FBI in the early 1980s the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan […]