My Exclusive Interview with Episcopalian Bishop Gene Robertson

He kept sleeping on my side of the bed!

He kept sleeping on my side of the bed!

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the privilege of interviewing retired Episcopalian Bishop Gene Robertson.  Many know Robertson as the first openly gay bishop, whose ordination nearly resulted in a schism in the worldwide Anglican communion.

MI: Good afternoon Bishop Robertson.

BGR: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.  Are you gay?

MI: No but I do enjoy musical theater.


MI: It’s an old joke.  Anyway, you are openly gay.  When you were ordained bishop you were in a committed relationship with your life partner, Mark Andrew.

BGR:Yes.  The heart wants what the heart wants.  We have been together for 25 years.  He is my soulmate. My helper.  My other.  My husband.

MI: How’s that working out for you?

BGR: We are getting a divorce.

MI: What?  But he was your life partner!

BGR:  Yes.  Well we had the same problems all couples have.  Arguments over money.  Arguments over who will sleep on which side of the bed.  Arguments over whose penis was bigger.  Arguments over who was going to stick their bigger penis into his life partner’s anus.  You know.  The usual.

MI: I see.

BGR: Let me just say that breeder’s have nothing to fear from gay divorce.  It’s perfectly normal and natural, like having your sperm frozen so a woman could be impregnated with your child and carry it to term so my husband and I could raise it together.  Perfectly normal.

MI: Speaking of normal – 

BGR: There is so much more to me. I’m not just a gay bishop. I want to be known as a gay divorced bishop.  A gay divorced bishop who never got a change to stick his obviously larger penis into his life partner’s anus because his husband was such a brute.  Sometimes he made me cry.

MI: The man you are divorcing. You refer to him as your husband.  This means that you are the wife, am I correct?

BGR: Your breeder terminology is offensive.  There is no wife or husband.  We were simply two men who were in love.  So no I was not the so-called wife.  Even though I never got the chance to stick my penis into his anus.  And I was usually on bottom. And I cry a lot.  But that does not make me a wife.

MI: This is your second marriage.  You were married before to a woman.

BGR: Yes. She had a vagina.  At least I think she did.  I never went near that thing. It scared me.

MI: Did she know you were gay during your marriage?

BGR: I don’t think so.  Though when she was performing fellatio on me I would often criticize her technique and say “That’s not how I do it.”  I think that might have tipped her off.

MI:  I see.  Well that would tend to be warning sign if you ask me.

BGR: Don’t get me wrong.  She was happy to get my advice.  Though when I bought a life-size doll and performed fellatio on it to show her the proper technique she got a little upset.

MI: Have you talked to former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey at all?  He is gay and also trying to become an episcopal priest.

BGR: Don’t talk to me about that bitch!  My penis is clearly bigger but he won’t let me stick it in his anus.  He wants to be dominant. All these dominant men in my life make me want to cry.

MI: That’s about all the questions I have.  

BGR: I need a hug.  

MI: Um.  That’s not going to happen.

BGR: You brute!  You manly brute!  I’m going to cry!

MI: Right.  Well I’m out of here.

BGR: Wait, come back.  Can’t we just comfort each other?

MI: Bye.

Anyway that concluded my interview with the retired bishop.  The bitch.


3 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    The time may be ripe for replacing the Village People Indian with an Episcopalian Bishop.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    An excellent suggestion.

  3. Episcopalian? Is that Latin for pisco sour? I geet a hangover just thinking of them.

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