Thank you for being outraged!

Dear Sir:

Enclosed please find your membership card for the National Organization of Outraged Progressives.  Thank you for joining us.

As you may know the National Organization of Outraged Progressives has for almost half a decade been at the forefront of spotting white privilege in all shapes and forms.

It was the National Organization of Outraged Progressives that stopped a local lemonade stand from selling its wares.  Why?  They would only sell light colored lemonade and not the darker flavors.

It was the National Organization of Outraged Progressives that stopped a two-year old from sucking on his pacifier.  Why?  Because the pacifier was white and was a stand-in for a white nipple.  Perhaps this child thought he was too good for a black nipple?    Most likely the child, born of white privilege wanted to suck at the teat of the inborn racism of privileged Caucasian peoples.

It was the National Organization of Outraged Progressives that petitioned the surviving Beatles to rename the “White Album” the “Album of Color.”

It was the National Organization of Outraged Progressives that has forced many Walmarts to close when they are in neighborhoods populated by the victims of color.  Sure this means that the local peoples of color will be without a convenient and cheap place to shop but they can rest secure in the knowledge that they are not contributing to Walmart’s war machine.

It was the National Organization of Outraged Progressives that forced retailers to rename Black Friday “Beautiful Friday.”  Why? Because we could not longer watch the beautiful peoples of color have their name dragged through the mud.

And it was the National Organization of Outraged Progressives that got power companies to start calling black outs “temporary cessations of white privilege.”  Why?  I don’t know.  Even we aren’t sure about that one.  But anyway……

With your membership card to NOOP you will receive many benefits.  Just show your card at any approved Occupy movement or television news headquarters.

Being a member of NOOP means you care about equality.  And as a member you will no longer have to wait in line!  That’s right.  As others are busy painting their protest signs, your NOOP membership card gives you access to our prepackaged outrage signs.

And remember, every time you use a pre-approved, specially hand-painted NOOP outrage sign you get frequent outrage bonus points.

If you accumulate enough outrage points you can cash those in for 50% off any purchase at a participating Walmart!

Remember:  Membership has privileges.

Just not White Privilege.

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