My Exclusive Interview with Charlie Rose

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Do you want to see me naked?

 

 

 

 

 

And the hits keep coming for our moral and intellectual superiors in the mainstream media. I thank god I’m just a lowly, humble blogger resistant to temptation. But anyway here is my exclusive interview with former CBS Morning Show anchor Charlie Rose.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Rose.

[Silence]

MI: Mr. Rose?

CR: I’m sorry I was distracted fantasizing about watching you swim naked.

MI: Um. Okay. Let’s talk about your career. You’ve had a very successful run as a journalist. Hosting the CBS morning show, an acclaimed PBS show. What is the secret to your success?

CR: Ah, the CBS morning show.  I loved working next to Norah O’Donnell. She’s so damn hot, don’t you think? 

Show me your t*ts!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I used to not wear underwear on the set because it brought my penis closer to her.

MI: Okay. Moving along.

CR: Smooth skin. Firm, supple breasts. Milky thighs.  I was barely able to read the teleprompter I was so excited.

MI: Back to what we were talking about. What is the secret to your success?

CR: I’d have to say it is perseverance. And hot, young 20-something women.

MI: Perseverance?

CR: And hot 20-something women. You know forget about perseverance. It was all about the hot 20-something women.

MI: Right.

CREven though I’m in my 70s I’ve been blessed with rugged good 

You know you want me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

looks that no hot 20-something woman can resist.

MI: I find that hard to believe.

CR: Why? 

All women want me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why you you doubt this fact?

MI:Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?

CR: I have my people do that for me.

MI: So all these young women just happened to be sexually attracted to you? 

I am irresistible!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CR: Yes.  Why does everyone find this so hard to believe?

MI: Could it possibly be you were a powerful man in an industry they desperately wanted to get into?

CR: No. It was mutual sexual attraction. 

I am a sex god!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MI: That’s your final answer?

CR: Mutual. Sexual. Attraction. 

Mutual. Sexual. Attraction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MI: One last question.  You have been accused of walking out of the shower naked and pretending you didn’t know a woman was in the next room.

CR: Yes. It was my way of breaking the ice.

MI: But is walking out of the shower naked and pretending you didn’t know a woman was in the next room a moral act?

CR: That depends on one thing.  The size of her breasts.

MI: What?

CR: If her breasts are large then it becomes a moral act.  I’ve studied Aquinas you know.

MI: Well that’s about all the time we have.

CR: I have a pool at my place on Long Island. Care to swim naked in it for me?

MI: No. Goodbye.

And so ended my interview with the legendary media personality Charlie Rose. You know he does have a point. The size of the breasts does determine the objective goodness of the act.

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