Manhattan Infidel Presents the How the MSM Will Cover the Hillary Clinton-Uranium Scandal Template™

Like I know! Why am I not in jail?







Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ there are two things that concern us: 1. Bringing the public the truth the official news media will not and 2. Figuring out where to get those Heineken 5 liter kegs. They’re pressurized you know. Oh sure there’s a place in Queens that sells a nice selection of German pilsners in 5 liter kegs but since they don’t come with an internal carbon dioxide canister you have to drink it all within 12-24 hours or the beer goes bad.  I mean that’s not a problem for an alcoholic like me but I like to have options.

Anyway without further adieu I now present how the MSM will cover the mother of scandals: How the Clinton Crime Family (“CCF“) sold 20 percent of our uranium to Russia.

Twenty percent of the United States’ supply of uranium was sold to Russia.  What should I, a member of the MSM, do with this knowledge?

  1. There can be no scandal if it involves Democrats
  2. Omit the facts and blame Trump
  3. Do not cover this at all. Suppress it
  4. OMG did you know Trump’s son met with Ruskies!!!!!

Why was uranium sold to a global rival like Russia?

  1. Why are you asking this question? Do you work for Fox News?
  2. Seriously you must be one of those alt-right white nationalists
  3. Racist!
  4. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is a warm and giving woman. She simply wanted to help an important ally like Russia

Was money from the sale of the uranium used to pay FusionGPS to come up with the discredited “Pee Pee dossier”?

  1. I won’t dignify right wing hatred by answering that question
  2. Discredited?  It is well-known that Donald Trump is a sexual pervert
  3. I mean lots of Democrats like water sports but it’s okay when we do it
  4. I am shocked!  Shocked at these binary, cisgender sexual shenanigans!

Seriously this does sound like a huge story. Shouldn’t we be covering it?

  1. Go back to the hick red state you came from you rube
  2. My wife works for the DNC. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that second income
  3. No. Keep your eye on the prize: Impeaching Donald Trump!
  4. Since when is it the job of the media to cover news?

So to recap how should we handle this?

  1. Ignore it
  2. Go on the offensive and only cover the “Trump colluded with Russia” story
  3. I mean we know it’s fake but we have to embarrass the Republicans some how.
  4. Get our friends at Google to work on their algorithms so that whenever a rube types in “Clinton-Uranium” all the results exonerate her and say there is no scandal

I got it. Ignore the story. I’m glad we’re all in agreement

  1. We know what’s best for America
  2. As a member of the oligarchy our opinions carry more weight than the rubes in Red State America
  3. They are all stupid racists anyway
  4. Sometimes I am so ashamed to live in a country like America. Why can’t we be more like Europe. They are sophisticated!

There you have it readers. Not being a member of the elite MSM I can only present the facts.


3 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    So does this mean Islamist fundamentalist terrorist have buy their uranium directly from Russian state sponsored arms dealers in order to build a suitcase bomb? Damn!

  2. LSP says:

    Thanks for the Template, Infidel.

    I hope you’re not implying that Hillary had something to do with uranium Russian collusion because that would be a THOUGHT CRIME.

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