My Exclusive Interview with Louis C.K.

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Excuse me while I whip this out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a reporter blogger manic depressive it is always a feather in one’s cap to interview a figure on the front pages. So today I have the honor of interviewing comedian, director, producer and auteur Louis C.K.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. C.K.

LCK: Hey, what’s up?

MI:  It is a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been a fan of yours for years.

LCK: Why thank you. That’s a very kind thing to say.

MI :Now you have a new movie coming out.

LCK. Yes. One I’m very proud of. But before I talk about that may I take my penis out?

MI: What?

LCK: May I take it out?

MI: Oh hell why not. We’re all men here and men have to do what men have to do!

LCK:  Exactly!  Men!

[Louis C.K. take his penis out and begins pleasuring himself]

LCK: Women. They just don’t understand how natural and normal it is for a man to take it out.

MI: I know!  In fact I think I’ll take mine out.

[Manhattan Infidel takes his penis out]

LCK Men!

MI: Men!

LCK: Men!

MI: Men!

LCK:  It’s science. Men have to take it out. 

MI: Why are women so anti-science?

LCK: They just don’t understand.

[Caitlyn Jenner enters]  

I used to love taking it out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CJ: Hi guys, what’cha doing?

MI & LCK: Taking it out.

CJ: I used to love doing that. It’s totally normal. May I join you?

MI & LCK: The more the merrier.

CJ: Dammit I forgot. I’m post-op. I have no penis anymore.

MI: You cut your penis off?

CJ: Well technically I had it sliced down the middle and folded in upon itself to create an artificial vagina.

MI: Can’t you just play with your lady parts?

CJ: I can’t. My artificial lady parts have no natural lubrication!  I have no natural lubrication! I’m drier than the Sahara desert and that can cause painful intercourse. I hate you God!

[S/he runs away screaming “I’m drier than the Sahara!”]

MI: That was odd.

LCK: Never slice your penis down the middle and fold it in upon itself. That’s the first thing they taught us in the Boy Scouts

[Chaz Bono enters] 

I want to take it out but I have no penis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MI & LCK: Chaz Bono, famous female to male transgender. Chaz what brings you here?  Care to join us as we take it out?

CB: I’d love to but unfortunately I ran out of money before I was able to get a penis

MI: Tough break. What do you do when you want to take it out?

CB:  I’ve fashioned a makeshift penis using some chicken breasts that I duct tape to my body. Unfortunately whenever I do that the cat follows me around and tries to eat my penis.

MI: Ouch.

CB: If you know of anyone with a spare penis have them hit me up.

[Chaz leaves]

MI: Never let a cat eat your penis.

LCK: That’s the second thing they taught us in the Boy Scouts.

MI: Well that’s about all the time I have.

LCK: Do you have any tissues?

MI: On the desk. It’s been fun taking it out with you.

LCK: It’s something all men do. Women just don’t understand.

And that was my interview with Louis C.K.  Women. They just don’t understand science.

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2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Excuse me, I have to go lift something heavy.

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