Worf Gets DNA Results!

This human obsession with DNA is unsettling









Lieutenant Worf of the USS Enterprise has received the results of his DNA analysis.

“My mate, counselor Troi, insisted I do this.” said the unhappy Star Fleet officer.

She said knowledge of one’s past is key to understanding one’s present. She’s always saying shit like that. She also insisted on decorating my quarters. I had spartan quarters before. Quarters befitting a Klingon warrior. She put in plush carpets, tons of pillows and earth tones everywhere. She said it would create a neutral and friendly atmosphere. Frankly I find her annoying. I just wanted her cleavage. I just wanted some action. Then she moved in. I’m thinking of killing her.

As part of her “makeover” and plan to change Worf she made the lieutenant get a DNA test.

“Worf is a sweet and gentle soul” Troi said.

Very un-Klingon.  So I knew there had to be more in his background than Klingon DNA. He was reluctant of course. Almost as reluctant as he was when I insisted on Earth tones for his quarters. “I am a Klingon warrior” he told me. He was trying to act all gruff but I can see through that. I know he’s a softy at heart. When he continued to refuse I just took my blouse off and showed him my ample bosom.

Concentrate on my breasts. How do you they make you feel?










He always agrees to anything I want when I do that. Men. So simple. Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way.

After waiting weeks for his results to come in Worf was shocked

All my life I’ve believed I was a full-blooded Vulcan. I was proud of being a Vulcan from the House of Mogh. My entire identity was tied up in being a Klingon warrior. I am quite proficient with my bat’leth. But according to the results I’m only 26 percent Vulcan. The other 74 percent comes from Ireland. What the hell?  I’m Irish? But what about my dark complexion? What’s up with that? And I hate rain. I prefer being in the sun.

Convinced there was a mistake Worf had his DNA analyzed a second time. The results were even more disturbing.

The second time said I not only was mainly Irish but that I also had Swiss blood.  Sweden? They are not a race of warriors! If the other Klingons find out I will be banished from the house of Mogh.

Worf at first burned his DNA results so no one would be the wiser. It wasn’t until counselor Troi removed her blouse that he calmed down and agreed to accept his heritage.

“I’ll be turning in my bat’leth for a pint of Guinness. I just hope Troi continues taking her blouse off” said the newly-proud Irishman.


2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    I’ve always thought Wold=f was Irish and now I know, black Irish.

    That’s NOT racist.

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