My Exclusive Interview with Hillary Clinton

Get of of my way you bitch!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today at Manhattan Infidel I was planning on doing a post on all my spam. But then failed Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton showed up and demanded an interview.

HC: Manhattan Infidel I want to talk to you!

MI: Hillary Clinton, failed presidential candidate. How may I help you?

HC: Failed?  You are absolutely deplorable.  I want to talk to you about sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia and all the reasons I lost the election.

MI: I thought you lost because you’re a bitter, unlikable alcoholic?

HC:  Who said I was unlikable?

[Hillary pulls a flask from her blue jump suit.]

HC: I never go anywhere without my flask. It helps ease the pain of racism, misogyny, Islamophobia, Russian interference in our election, James Comey, misogyny – 

MI: You already mentioned misogyny.

HC: Misogyny is very important. It’s rampant in toxic patriarchal America.  Anyway, misogyny, you had the unprecedented intervention by an FBI director. You had a foreign adversary successfully influence the election. You had voter suppression aimed primarily at African Americans and young voters. And you had sexism, which was front and center.

MI: Voter suppression? Why would Republicans want to suppress the African vote?

HC: Because Africans have always been very loyal to the Democrats going all the way back to the days when we owned them.

MI: What?

HC: I didn’t say that.  Anyway what was done to us in this election. Every day that goes by, we seem to learn more about the interference and the profound impact of that on the outcome. And that should terrify every American. We cannot tolerate being manipulated by a foreign power, especially one that is so bent on destabilizing democracy as Russia and its current leadership is. Who knows, if it weren’t for the loyalty of our African underclass the election would not have even been close. God bless our loyal Africans. You know they’ve always been loyal to Democrats going way back to the days we owned them.

MI: Again. What?

HC: I didn’t say that.

MI: Say what?

HC: About our loyal Africans who have always been very loyal to the Democrats back to when we owned them.

MI: You sure you want to say that?

HC: Say what?  I didn’t say anything.

MI: I see. Anything else you want to blame your loss on?

HC: Yes. Kate Upton.

MI:Kate Upton?

HC: I invited her up to my hotel room. I said “How’d you like to spend the night in the hotel room of the first women elected president?”  I just wanted to touch her. 

No you can’t touch me

No you can’t touch me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MI: I don’t blame you. I’d love to touch Kate Upton as well.

HC: I know. But she wouldn’t let me touch her. SHE WOULDN’T LET ME TOUCH HER! She said she couldn’t cheat on her fiancee, some baseball player.

MI: Sucks to be you.

HC: She wouldn’t let me touch her!  I lost the election because she wouldn’t let me touch her.

MI: That sounds logical.

HC: Thank god for the loyalty of our Africans. They have always been loyal to us going back to when we owned them.

MI: There you go again. Are you sure you want to say that?

HC: Say what?  I didn’t say anything.

And so ended my interview with the eminently logical, always says the right thing, Hillary Clinton.

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