My Exclusive Interview with North Korean Leader Kim Jong-Un

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The new “In” look

 

 

 

 

 

 

As everyone knows there is a possibility of war between the United States and The Democratic People’s Republic of California. Um, I mean Korea. Though tensions remain high between the United States and California as well.

Using my contacts in government I was able to arrange unlimited access to North Korea’s enigmatic leader Kim Jong-Un. We met at a neutral location (a Burger King) for our talk.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Un.

KJU: Excuse me?  Mister? Mister? That’s Kim Jong-Un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, thank you.

MI: I’m sorry. No disrespect intended.

KJU:Whatever. I’m tired of you tall, thin westerners disrespecting me. I know what you’re saying about me behind my back. You call me “Wo Fat” and say I only got this job because of my father.

MI:Well isn’t that true?

[Pause]

KJU: Next question.

MI: Okay why did you agree to meet me at a Burger King?

KJU: I wanted to show the people of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, a socialist workers paradise, the decadence of capitalism.

MI: Really?

KJU: Okay, I like Whoppers. A lot.

MI: They are delicious.

KJU:What is that you are having?

MI: It’s their Strawberry Banana Smoothie. 

Can I buy this on the black market?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KJU: Wow. Do they have more? I mean if that’s the last one in the country I will buy one on the black market and force my fellow countrymen to eat grass.

MI: Um, no we have plenty here. Thank you.

KJU: May I try yours?

MI: Sure but be careful. It’s pretty heavy.

[Manhattan Infidel hands King Jong-Un his Strawberry Banana Smoothie who proceeds to drop it on his lap]

KJU:  My balls!  My balls have been crushed by a Strawberry Banana Smoothie! You’ll pay for this Manhattan Infidel. I shall put you in a coma and force you to eat grass. Or I will force you to eat grass and then put you in a coma!

MI: Balls crushed? You know that’s been happening a lot to people I interview.

KJU: The Supreme Leader’s balls have been crushed by capitalism! I can’t have my grass-eating people see me with crushed balls

MI: Relax I’m an expert on this now.  I have a rudimentary lathe and a system of ropes and pulleys. We simply have to keep your balls elevated to prevent swelling.

[Manhattan Infidel attaches Kim Jon-Un’s balls to a pulley and hoists the Supreme Leader, balls first, into the air]

KJU: Are you sure this will work?

MI: I’m a member of the mainstream media. Why would I lie?

[There is a ripping sound as Kim Jong-Un falls to the ground, his balls still in the pulley]

KJU: My balls!  My Supreme Leader balls have been torn off and ripped asunder from my body by the forces of capitalism!

MI: Yeah I didn’t see that coming. Well, that’s about all the time we have.

KJU:Wait, what about my balls? What do I do now? I have no male genitalia for my male Supreme Leader body!

MI: Don’t worry. We recognize over 31 genders in America. Just tell your people you are transitioning.

And so ended my interview with the Supreme Leader. I’m never going to get that ripping sound his testicles made when they separated from the rest of his body out of my head. I haven’t heard anything so horrible since Yoko Ono.

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3 Comments

3 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    The GENIUS of YOKO.

    Thanks for the reminder, Infidel.

  2. Bob Agard says:

    bobagard.blogspot.com/2017/09/manhattan-infidel-solves-north-korea.html

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