Wonder Woman Goddamn Tired of Your Mansplainin’ Bullshit!

Down with the patriarchy!

Down with the patriarchy!

Wonder Woman, founding member of the Justice League, demigoddess, United Nations Executive Ambassador, known in her homeland as Princess Diana of Themyscira, has let it be known that she is “sick of your shit.”

“I fight crime. I fight for justice” Wonder Woman shouted while carrying a placard outside the Justice League’s headquarters that said, “Respect My Vagina or Get Out of my Way!”

In my homeworld I’m a princess. I’m a leader. I’m respected. I have a brain.  Who do you think invented the Lasso of Truth?  It wasn’t Q. It was me! I have a patent for it. I came up to North America because I needed new challenges. But do you think any of that shit matters here? Do you think they’ve even bothered to look at my resume or my LinkedIn profile? No.  Up here I’m supposed to be subservient to the men.  Except sexually that is. It seems men in the United States all want me to spank them and call them dirty names or do something to them with my lasso. What’s up with that? Is it my boots?  Where I come from all Amazon warriors wear these.

Wonder Woman then went on to relate a recent incident that led to her radicalization.

Batman asked me to drop by the Batcave to discuss crime fighting and social justice. I’m all up for social justice so I said yes. When I got there the lights were low and Batman put on Bob Seeger’s “Night Moves.”  He started dancing in front of me and singing “She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes and points on her own sitting way up high way up firm and high.” Then he asked me if I would like to touch his penis. I was about to kick him in the groin when Robin showed up and saved me. He grabbed Batman and called him a “two-timing bitch.” Well when they were fighting I high-tailed it out of there.

On another occasion she had to sit through a lecture on proper archery techniques from the Green Arrow.

Hello?  Like I know how to use an archery set. I’m Wonder Woman. I don’t need mansplainin’ from a member of the patriarchy. I sat there steaming for what seems hours. Finally when the lecture was over he asked me, rather condescendingly, “Did you get all that?”  Yeah, I got all that. Then I kicked him in the groin. Now he knows why Batman keeps Robin around.

Humiliated by the lack of respect shown to her, Wonder Woman resigned from the League of Justice and formed her own crime-fighting organization called “The Sisterhood of Justice” that will be open to all female crime fighters, professional. and amateur.

We’ll be fighting crime by men perpetrated against women. Justice by vaginas for vaginas! That’s the way it should be! I’ll bet the League of Justice will rue the day they ever disrespected me!

The Sisterhood of Justice is a Delaware Limited Liability Corporation and will be publicly traded on Wall Street.

“My vagina may be closed to the patriarchy but my finances are an open book” she said.


3 Responses

  1. GOODSTUFF says:

    Wonder Woman Kickin’Butt & Takin’ Names

    The Iranian government has once again penetrated US soil and has sent their top spy to infiltrate America’s most lucrative business, the Porn Industry. Through the help of a sultry US informant, the Iranian spy has gained access to California’s biggest porn production sets in order to steal their secrets and bring them back home. There is only one person that can stop the Iranian insurgence. There is only one person who can make a man crumble to his knees and beg for mercy, Wonder Woman! Will the Iranian spy succeed in her mission to rip off America’s beloved porn or will he succumb to the wealth and riches of the most sought after pussy on the planet. Will Wonder Woman save the day or are her powers futile against the terrorist attacks of the Iranian infidels.

    Bonding with Wonder Woman

  2. LSP says:

    I’d forgotten about “Night Moves.” Thanks, Infidel.

    Nice one.

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