It has been learned that disgraced former congressman and serial sexter Anthony Weiner has checked into a rehab clinic to fight his disease. The facility, The Home for the Perpetual Horny Loser, located in Westchester County has allowed Weiner to enter its advanced six-week “Dick Pic Free” program.
Wishing to know more about this program (for professional purposes only) I contacted the administrator to ask questions about what Weiner should expect.
MI: Good afternoon Ma’am. You are the administrator of the Home for the Perpetual Horny Loser.
HPHLA: Yes that is correct.
MI: Tell me what exactly is sext addiction?
HPHLA: It’s the desire to have anonymous non-physical interaction sex.
MI: What form does this interaction take?
HPHLA: Generally in the form of photos of genitalia sent from their phone to another person.
MI: What would be the reason for doing this?
HPHLA: The afflicted party gets a thrill, a rush if you will, from this illicit activity.
MI: And all they have to do is send a photo of their genitalia?
HPHLA: Yes.
MI: Okay.
[Manhattan Infidel sends a photo to the home administrator]
MI: Check your phone.
HPHLA: Oh, oh my god. Is that your…….penis?
MI: Wow. You know I do feel a thrill.
HPHLA: Yes, that’s generally how it works.
MI: Wait, this is fun. Let me send some more.
HPHLA: No….please. I don’t think that will be necessary.
[Manhattan Infidel send a few more pics]
HPHLA: Oh no. Look I told you not to – is that a clown face painted on your testicles?
MI: Does it turn you on baby?
HPHLA: No it doesn’t. Sir, I must ask you to cease and desist.
MI: But I’m just starting. I’ve never experienced a rush like this. I knew there was a reason I shaved my chest and took 200 photos of it. Would you like to see my shaved, supple chest?
HPHLA: Sir please. If you keep sending me these photos I’m going to have to ask you to join our facility as a patient.
MI: An entire facility of horny sexters? Sign me up! I can’t wait to start sending photos in there.
HPHLA: Electronic devices are banned from the facility.
MI: Whoa. What the hell? No electronic devices? Then how am I supposed to send people photos of my penis?
HPHLA: You don’t.
MI: That does it. I’m flaccid. Just one more question before I go. Do you have any underage daughters?
HPHLA: Goodbye. Please don’t contact me again.
And so ended my interview. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to send photos of my penis to my loyal readers. Yeah, you know you want it.
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