Vote for me. I’m gonna make America an offer they can’t refuse

With only five days left until election day, President-by-acclamation Hillary Clinton  took to the stump to remind voters why they should vote for her.

Using her tried themes of compassion and moving forward together Clinton reminded voters of her 40 years of accomplishment in the public eye. I have obtained a copy of the speech and have decided, against my better judgment, to print it in full here. This is the real speech readers, not the one the MSM wants you to here.

I realize by posting this I have put my life in danger but I am confident that Mrs. Clinton and her family will be unable to find me.

My fellow Americans. Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. And you know what you can do for your country? Pay more taxes and hand in your guns.

There. I said it. Pay more taxes. I am going to take your money and give it to someone else. The poor. The needy. Or maybe just the Clinton Foundation. Because we help the poor and needy. And the Clinton Foundation. Which helps the poor and needy. After Bill and I wet our beak a little.

I hear you and your friends are making money But you don’t even send any to my house in Chappaqua. No respect! You know I’ve a daughter. This is my neighborhood. You and your friends should show me some respect. You should let me wet my beak a little.  Give me 50 percent of what you make, for your own protection. And I’ll forget the insult. You young punks have to learn to respect a woman in pantsuits like me! Otherwise the cops and the Feds will come to your house. And your family will be ruined. Of course, if I’m wrong about how much you make, I’ll take a little less. And by less, I only mean – a third of what you make. Now don’t refuse me. Understand, paisan? Understand, paisan?… Tell your friends I don’t want a lot. Just enough to wet my beak. Don’t be afraid to tell them!

And businesses should vote for me too. If you vote for me times will be good. The government will favor you. What I am saying is, vote for me and you can have what you always needed, real partnership with the government.

The Clinton Foundation is like the Roman Empire. What do I mean by that? Vote for me and you won’t have to find out. Understand?

In five years the Clinton family will be totally legitimate.

I don’t want violence.  I’m a businesswoman.  Blood is a big expense.

But blood is what we will have if you don’t vote for me.

Vote for me America.

Wow. That is quite the speech. Some say i shouldn’t have printed it. They say an accident might happen to me. I’m not worried.

But just in case, if this is the last post from this humble blog of mine have someone check New York harbor for an oil drum. My body will be inside.

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