The weather has never changed before in the entire history of our planet!

I care about my readers. I really do. And not just the ones I’ve exchanged nude photos with. So following up on yesterday’s quiz I now present the official Manhattan Infidel Climate Change Quiz. Happy quizzing.

What is climate?

• The amount of rain or snow that falls
• The weather of a place averaged over a long period of time.
• The condition of the air
• Earth’s most precious resource that has been destroyed by mankind and his insatiable need to drive big cars, travel in planes and use air conditioning

True of false?  Climate takes hundreds, thousands or even millions of years to change

• True (You must be a Republican)
• So very true (A Republican and  a science denier)
• False
• So very false (Our climate has drastically changed in the past decade alone. It is your fault. Thank god the EPA has banned wood burning stoves you rube)

Climate differs in regions of the world that receive different amounts of _________

• Tornadoes
• Sunlight
• Water
• White people (Wherever white people go they destroy the environment. Beware the white man, for he is the Devil’s pawn. Alone among God’s primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother’s land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death.)

The United States releases more __________ than any other country

• Nitrogen
• Oxygen
• Weather
• Carbon Dioxide (Again, the blame falls squarely on the racist United States and the so-called advanced lifestyle of the industrialized inhabitants. I mean would it really be that bad if we lived according to the technology of the 18th century? People are so selfish)

True of false?  The Earth is getting warming because people are adding heat-trapping gases to the atmosphere

• False (If you answered false then you make me sick. You are stupid.)
• True (Yes, but why?)
• So obviously true (You are learning comrade)
• I mean come on! Science has proven that global warming exists. The climate has never changed in millions of years but now it is. We need to lock science deniers up in prison.

How is the Earth getting warmer?

• The summers are getting longer
• The sun is getting bigger
• The Earth is moving towards the sun
• Duh. By burning fossil fuels. Why can’t we just build more wind farms? We can build special trucks that run on wind that will transport wind energy around the country. Imagine a world where your TV, your car and your electricity are all powered by safe, renewable, non-polluting wind. Who would not want that? Besides Republicans that is.

What do warmer temperatures cause?

• Melting glaciers
• Stronger storms
• White policeman killing black men
• All of the above

People can help stop climate change. How can people make a difference?

• Use less energy
• Limit their water usage
• Use high speed rail instead of private transportation
• Commit mass suicide. Seriously people haven’t you heard a word I’ve said? The only way to totally stop climate change is to eliminate human beings from the Earth. Fortunately the EPA is working on that as we speak thanks to a generous grant of powers from the Senate and House of Representatives

Well I hope you enjoyed this easy, scientifically accurate and politically unbiased test. I’ll see you at the outhouse climate denier (I have thrown out my flush toilet to do my part to stop climate change).

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