Gotham City Passes “Catwoman Accomodation Act”

My bathroom needs are not being fulfilled

My bathroom needs are not being fulfilled

Hoping to attract business with its progressive policies, the City of Gotham today announced that it has passed a Catwoman Accomodation Act, the first of its kind in the entire country.

Under the terms of the new act all public bathrooms in Gotham City must be unigender, with access provided for men and women. Also, all bathrooms must contain a kitty litter box in case Catwoman decides to use the facilities.

“Tourism brings in a lot of money” said the president of Gotham’s City Council.

Though why anyone would want to visit Gotham is beyond me.  It’s dark and it’s always raining.  It’s like living in Seattle but without a professional sports team. But back to what I was saying, everyone knows who Catwoman is.  She’s probably one of the most well-known woman in America right up there with Caitlyn Jenner. Catwoman has threatened to leave Gotham and go to another city if her bathroom needs are not met. This would be bad for business.

Businesses throughout Gotham for the most part seem willing to comply with the law.

“If it puts fannies in the seats at my restaurant then I’ll support it” said one business owner.

Catwoman is to Gotham what Princess Kate is to England. People come to see her. You do what you have to do to survive. There will be some upfront costs of course but all the bathroom in my restaurant are unigender and have kitty litter boxes now. It’s the progressive thing to do.

Indeed many businesses have seen the writing on the wall and already have kitty litter boxes in their bathrooms.

“As a businessman being on anyone’s bad side is bad for me” said the owner of a B&B in Gotham.

I actually had Catwoman stay with me once. At first she was pleasant.  Until she went to the bathroom. When she came out she hissed at me, scratched me, jumped onto my laptop and peed on it. I asked her what was wrong and she said “Catwoman does not pee like other woman. I need a litter box!” Once I had stopped bleeding I put in a litter box.  She was much nicer to me after that.

President Obama has praised Gotham and cites their action as an example of the tolerant country he is trying to transform America into.

America has often been an intolerant, racist country. Slavery, discrimination against gays, Islamophobia. These are the things I have tried to combat. I have tried to fundamentally transform America into a country the rest of the world can respect. Gotham’s Catwoman Accommodation Act is a step in this direction. As such I am issuing an executive order stating that all public bathrooms in the United States must now be unigender and have litter boxes. While the White House and the Capitol building will be exempt from this law that’s just because these are old buildings and it would cost too much to comply.

Still opposition to the law exists.

“I took my daughter to a restaurant for her birthday” said a Gotham resident.

And when I took her to the bathroom there was Catwoman, naked from the waist down, pooping in a litter box. My daughter was confused and said “Mommy why is the woman pretending she is a cat?” I told her to be quiet before she was charged with a hate crime. But still she doesn’t need to see that!

The Catwoman Accommodation Act takes effect May 1st. Businesses that do not comply will be fined $5000 per day until they do.

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2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    The best and least expensive solution would be to have the muslim taxi drivers foot baths double as kitty litter facilities. After all they’ve already stepped in shit by having one of their own in the White House.

  2. LSP says:

    Catwoman was born a “woman” and now she’s a cat. Like Rachel Dolezal, who was born with a spray tan and became a dog.

    Let’s have less of this microaggression, Infidel.

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