Batman Accused of Using Private Email Server!

Private email server? What difference does it make?

Private email server? What difference does it make?

Gotham’s most popular crime fighter, Batman, finds himself in the midst of a potentially damaging scandal as it is alleged that he used a private email server while on official Gotham business.

“This is a game-changer” said a member of Gotham’s city council.

Batman is one of the most popular people in Gotham, behind only the people who work the counter at Chick-fil-A.  He’s reduced crime. People feel safe. Well, except for Gotham’s Hispanic neighborhoods but even Batman can’t do anything about that.

Recently there had been much talk in Gotham about drafting Batman to run for election against Mayor Anthony Garcia (pictured here on the left with Commissioner Gordon)

Mayor Garcia and Commissioner Gordon

Mayor Garcia and Commissioner Gordon

but with the scandal brewing mention of drafting Batman has been placed on hold.

“Gotham demands three things from its mayor” said a political commentator for a Gotham TV station.

Honesty, a wife and a political platform. Heretofore Batman had two of those. We knew he stood for law and order and we thought he was honest. And as for a wife I suppose in a pinch Catwoman could stand in. But now with these email thing we don’t even know if he’s honest.

On Gotham’s payroll as a crime-fighting “consultant” Batman had signed an agreement stating that he would use only Gotham PD’s official email server.

“It’s a question of security and accountability” according to those with knowledge of the investigation.

Gotham PD’s email server is very secure and is locked behind several layers of firewalls. Who knows what the hell Batman’s private email server’s security is.  I hear he has it located in his bathroom. Who set it up?  Someone qualified and who has security clearance? Or Robin? Also Gotham’s citizens have a right to know how their money is spent. Being on Gotham’s payroll Batman could avoid embarrassing questions of financial accountability by using his own server. I mean the Batmobile? Who knows how much that cost. He should have rented an SUV like everyone else.

According to sources a grand jury has been empaneled to investigate any potential wrongdoing and is close to returning an indictment despite heavy political pressure not to.

Commissioner Gordon is angry and has promised to resign if Batman is not indicted. He feels personally betrayed by the Caped Crusader.  Mayor Garcia on the other hand wants the whole thing swept under the rug. If that happens not only Gordon but most of Gotham PD’s top commanders have promised to resign as well.

As for the man at the center of the scandal, Batman remains unapologetic.

“I’m batman dammit. So I used a private email server.  What difference does it make?”

Superman has not commented publicly on the growing scandal though those close to him say he isn’t surprised.

“He never had much respect for Batman and considers him a fraud.”


Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>