Bernie Sanders Sworn in as President

I fantasize about penetrating America three times.  A typical fantasy.

I fantasize about penetrating America three times. A typical fantasy.

Today at Manhattan Infidel I’d like to inaugurate a new feature entitled “2017 Inaugural Addresses” where I give each candidate for President a chance to give his or her speech after reciting the oath of office.  Today it’s Bernie Sanders turn.  Or as I like to call it, “America you’ve gone full socialist.  Never go full socialist.”

Ladies, Gentleman, gentle ladies, men who identify as ladies.  Women who identify as men.  Transsexuals, pre- and post-op, gender identity-less, identity confused and the plain just f*cked up.  I thank you.

Today I enact a ritual as old as our socialist workers paradise whereby I take the oath of office and become your chief executive.  Though why we need ritual is beyond me.  Isn’t ritual just another word for patriarchal oppression?

I’d like to thank my Vice President, Caitlyn Jenner who has done for transsexuals what Jackie Robinson did for peoples of color.  It’s made them proud.  And much like Caitlyn’s penis which still exists but in a different form, being folded back upon itself to create an artificial vagina, may my administration fold capitalism back upon itself to create a socialist republic.

America.  America goes home and masturbates while fantasizing about oppressing minorities.  A typical fantasy.

A minority enjoys intercourse with America as she fantasizes about being raped by three white men simultaneously.

America gets dressed up on Sunday and goes to church where they cling to guns and religion.

Traditional gender roles are a failure. As is America.

In the past America was strong and we killed our own food and the dependent third world cooked it.

No more!

Only the roles remain on the world stage waiting to be shaken off!

American oppressors have lost their humanity.  Or I should say their gender neutral manity.

Third world qualities of socialism, love and openness were too deeply enmeshed with qualities of dependence and subservience to America.

And America.  America is in pain too. They are thinking, wondering.  Are they at fault?  Are they perpetuating this situation?  Are they oppressors?

America is bitter.  I thought you loved me.  But you hate my strength and abundance caused by capitalism which my administration will end.

And America says you are full of shit. And they never went out together again.

Now I know many of you are asking yourself, “What the f*ck is Bernie talking about? I don’t understand what he is saying.”

Neither do I.  But I’m a socialist.  As long as what I’m saying makes me feel good it’s okay.

America.  I look forward to spending the next four years raping you.

Fortunately Bernie doesn’t stand a chance of winning. Though that’s what they said about Jimmy Carter in 1974.


2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    If Bernard ditches the old woman’s pubic-hair looking coif and goes for the de Blasio’s son’s Afro cut he wins in a landslide.

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