Racist, Teabagging, Gun Crazy Canadians Suffer Gun Attack at Parliament Probably Caused by Canada’s Notorious Gun Culture; Manhattan Infidel Pleads for Stricter Gun Control Laws in Canada

Another senseless gun shooting in Canada!

Another senseless gun shooting in Canada!

The entire world was shocked today by a senseless shooting at Canada’s parliament building in Ottawa.  Reports indicate that one or possibly three or more shooters opened fire and killed a Canadian soldier.

Like many in the mainstream media here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we were saddened by another act of gun violence and we place the blame exactly where it belongs:  Canada’s reckless and out of control wild west gun culture.

How many more Canadians must die before Canada enacts strict gun control laws?

As I write this the situation in Ottawa is described as “fluid, ongoing and dynamic.”   No wait, that’s my prostate.

The Capital has been locked down and people are advised to avoid downtown.  Canadian SWAT teams patrol the area.

I ask you as Americans can we tolerate violence such as this on our northern border?  How long before the wild west mentality of Canada infects our nation?

Canada has to answer for its racism, its anti-tax teabagism and its gun culture.

Now I don’t mean this as a blanket condemnation of all Canadians.  There is much to admire in Canadian culture:  Their bacon for instance.  And lest we forget Canada also gave us Monty Hall. And some other stuff that I can’t think of right now.  But it’s probably something involving ice trucking.

No, not all Canadians are to blame.

Just the conservative right wing, anti-woman, anti-science, anti-gay marriage, anti-tax teabaggers.

What kind of person in the 21st century still believes that private citizens should carry weapons?

I call upon the Canadian Prime Minister, the Right Honorable Stephen Harper to unilaterally enact the strictest gun control laws the world has ever seen.

Hitler, for all his faults, was committed to the cause of gun control.

Let it not be said that we lagged behind him in this.

If Mr. Harper will not do this then I ask that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo have the New York National Guard invade Canada to enact the necessary laws.

After all, Cuomo enacted the Safe Laws that keep New York State safe.

Let him do the same in Canada.

Maybe his wise leadership can finally change the gun culture in Canada.

Then and only then can Canada go back to doing what it does best:  losing the Stanley Cup, politely and without a hint of gun violence.

Then and only then can Canada once again be an example to the world of toleration of despised minorities.  (I’m looking at all you Frenchies in Quebec.)

Hopefully a year from now we can look back at this event as the day the Canada said no more to gun violence.

Now if they would only say no more to Neil Young.

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5 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    The Canadiens have angered Obola for refusing to call the killing of their soldier workplace violence. The soldier was volunteering his time said the PM. Besides without lavatorial facilities it could hardly be called a Workplace. John Kerry has called for a conference with ebola stricken nations for the purpose of forming a coalition to attack Canafa.

  2. Canadians are a violent race. Just look at hockey. Time to make a glass parking lot out of Canada.

  3. LSP says:

    Ottawa out of control? Send piers morgan back to “Blighty” and give Kate Canada.

    Solution.

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