Racist Ebola Virus Targets Blacks!

The face of racism

The face of racism

With the United States on the verge of a possible Ebola outbreak, civil rights leaders gathered in Washington demanding answers.

“Why have all the Ebola victims been black?” asked the reverend Al Sharpton.

Why didn’t the Ebola outbreak happen in Sweden or Norway?  I’ll tell you why. Ebola hates black people!  Why did the Ebola outbreak start in Africa? Viruses hate black people!  Whenever I see a black man with Ebola I think of Bull Connor aiming fire hoses at black people.  There’s no difference.  No difference whatsoever.  Just like Tawana Brawley was raped by white district attorneys, the so-called Ebola virus is raping black people today!

After reverend Sharpton finished speaking Jesse Jackson took the stage.

“The white man used to hang us” he said.

Now they let the Ebola virus do it. I will not rest until this racist virus is wiped out. If Ebola cannot be wiped out I ask the Ebola virus to contribute money to the Rainbow Coalition.  Only by giving me money, I mean giving the Rainbow Coalition money will my outrage cease. And I am outraged!  Outraged that in the 21st century a virus like Ebola can blatantly get away with attacking black people. Brothers across the United States will rise up in their righteous anger to demand an end to this virus’ unfair attacks on black people.

Former Attorney General Eric Holder then addressed the crowd and asked for an honest discussion of Ebola.

This is a nation of cowards.  We refuse to talk about Ebola.  We refuse to think about the historical wrongs of this virus.  It is slavery revisited.  Virus slavery!  And we as a people do not have to stand for it anymore.

The crowd, estimated by impartial news sources to be close to eight billion then marched on the Capitol building while chanting,“Hey, Ho! Ebola virus has got to go!”

Once at the Capitol they were met by majority leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) who promised to do everything in his power to see that the Ebola virus is brought to justice.

We in the Democratic party have heard your cries and we are going to help you. The Ebola will not get away with this.  I plan to introduce a bill in the senate that would confiscate the income of the Koch brothers.  I know they have to be behind this.  Perhaps they funded Ebola research in their secret laboratory.  But rest assured.  The Ebola virus will be defeated and I call upon my Republican colleagues to admit their guilt in this matter.

Meanwhile President Obama, reacting to the protest said that he plans to lead from behind in the fight against Ebola.

“It’s a dangerous virus” declared the president.

So I would urge all blacks to play golf at an all-white private country club. I don’t have Ebola and I’m confident that what works for me will work for you as well. Scientists tell me that this is a good way to avoid infection.

In a related note the Joint Chiefs of Staff have announced that predator drones will be launched in Africa with the purpose of bringing Ebola to the bargaining table.

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3 Responses

  1. What we need is for community organizers and scientist to work together to develop a politically correct strain of Ebola.

  2. petermc3 says:

    …and howz about dat sickle cell anemia wit only be attackin’ doz black folks whilst da white man be getting’ his regula anemia? Reparations is da only cure fo ebola, and sickle cell.

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