Your 2014 Yankees: The He Might Be Usher Edition

“Baseball is the only place where a sacrifice is really appreciated” ~ Unknown

photo (27)

No 9/11 post today.

I am sick of 9/11.  I am sick of how our oversocialized, guilt-ridden left uses it as a “teachable moment” to discuss white privilege and the historical sins of America.

I am sick of 9/11 being used as an example of “tolerance.”  Let’s not forget, please have Muslim Imams at all prayer services.  Anything else would be racist you hick, hateful Americans.

I’m sick of the permanent police state that has risen up in the wake of 9/11.

I’m sick of how the two worst Presidents in American history (Bush 43 and Barack “Drone Strike” Obama) have destroyed in 13 years what it took their predecessors 225 years to build.

Bin Ladin won.  America died on 9/11.

So instead I will talk about the Yankee game I went to last night.

Ah, baseball.  The American game.  Played mostly by Dominicans, Venezuelans and those filthy foreigners, the Japanese.

On a late September evening I found myself in the Bronx to watch the Yankees (ain’t making the playoffs) struggle against the Tampa Bay Rays.  The Yankees started Chris (Who? No he’s on first) Capuano (2-3 4.90) and the Rays Jake Odorizzi (10-12 4.08).

Last Friday’s game was a brisk 2 1/2 game the way baseball is supposed to be played.  1-0. Two pitchers used.  Wednesday’s game was modern baseball.  Four hours and 11 pitchers.

Yankee starting pitcher Capuano lasted only a third of an inning. After a leadoff single to Ben Zobrist, Evan Longoria walked.  Will Myers then doubled home Zobrist.  After a walk to James Loney Yuniel Escobar singled home Longoria.  Logan Forsythe then singled home Loney. Capuano was replaced by Chase Whitley.  Ryan Hanigan then hit a sacrifice fly to left field scoring Loney.  4-0 Tampa Bay after half an inning.

The Yankees got a run back in the bottom of the first when on an 0-2 pitch Brian McCann homered to right field.  4-1 Tampa after one.

In the bottom of the third the Yankees scored twice.  A leadoff single by left fielder Chris Young was followed by a walk to Jacoby Ellsbury and Young reached third on catcher Ryan Hannigan’s throwing error. Brian McCann then singled home Young and Ellsbury.  4-3 Tampa after three.

In the bottom of the fourth the Yankees scored when Chris Young homered to left field.  4-4 after four innings.

In the fifth the Yankees took the lead for good when after Brian McCann was hit by a pitch, Mark Teixeira (yes, that Mark Teixeira) tripled home McCann. Chase Headley then singled home Teixera.  6-4 Yankees after five.

A pair of doubles in the eighth scored Chase Headley and Ichiro Suzuki.  The Rays got a run in the top of the ninth when Evan Longoria hit his 20th home run.

Final score:  Yankees 8 Tampa Bay 5. Preston Claiborne (3-0 3.20) got the win for the Yankees and Odorizzi was charged with the loss for the Rays.

Notes on the game:

Your humble blogger was in his usual seat in the bleachers sitting next to someone who may or may not have been popular singer Usher.

This man may or may not have been in the bleachers

This man may or may not have been in the bleachers

Why he may have been Usher?  He was signing autographs and was with a white chick.

Why he may not have been Usher?  He was sitting in the bleachers. If it were really Usher he’d be snorting cocaine of a hooker’s ass in a luxury box seat.

The Derek “Automatic Out” Jeter retirement tour continued.  He went 0-4.

Last Friday it was annoying drunk girl who sat next to me.  Last night it was annoying fat kid.

The stages of annoying fat kid:

  1. Soft drinks
  2. More soft drinks
  3. Foot long hot dogs
  4. A tub of fries and sliders
  5. Burping
  6. Candy
  7. Burping

The Manhattan Infidel heckle of the game:

My heckle of “Life is a misery.  Death an uncertainty.  Or is it true that death will cut off and put an end to all care and all feeling? “ didn’t fire up the crowd.  Libertines!

Reader mail:

A.P of Poughkeepsie writes, “Taxes are a misery.”

Teabagger!  It is your duty to pay your fair share.

L.K of New Jersey writes, “My new tattoo is causing me misery.”

Well the scrotum is naturally sensitive son.  Perhaps you should consider getting your next tattoo on your arm.

Someone who calls herself L.T. of New York writes, “Being outbid on a Beatles guitar is misery.”

Not being outbid on Pete Best. Now that’s misery.

My record this year stands at 5-8.  My next game is Saturday September 20th against the Toronto Blue Jays.

Go Yankees!



5 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    How far does a ball have to go for Tex to get a triple? Did the outfielder suffer an infarction or something?

  2. “I am sick of 9/11. I am sick of how our oversocialized, guilt-ridden left uses it as a “teachable moment” to discuss white privilege and the historical sins of America.”

    Thank you for having the guts to say what so many of us are feeling. This is the first year I haven’t written a memorial post on 9/11.

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      It’s all guilt porn, especially when all the liberal networks insist on covering live the anniversary ceremonies, complete with discussions on why the Muslim world hates us.

  3. Petermc3 says:

    Yeah. Watching And hearing Obama and Hagel at this morning ‘s Pentagon service was the height of hypocrisy as well as embarrasing. Zero has oresided over six ofvthirteen memorial services. Knock it off already.
    The muslims hate us for using toilt paper and the idea we shower with our woman to save water . What ‘s not to hate . Let’s go Mets !!!

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