Death to the Zionist meat by-product!

ISIS continued its reign of terror through the heartland of Iraq today when a bag of Hebrew National Franks was captured and beheaded in front of cheering militia.

“Today the Zionist pig meat by-product will feel the power of the prophet” declared an ISIS member holding a sword.

For too long we have let the Zionists destroy the purity of the caliphate.  Let this be a warning to all hot dogs.  We will not hesitate to execute them!

And with that short declaration the Hebrew National Franks were held up to the camera and brutally sliced in two.

Reaction to the beheading of the hots dogs was swift, with many in congress calling upon President Obama to order air strikes over ISIS-held territory to ensure the safety of any Hebrew National Franks left remaining.

John McCain (R – Arizona) called for a sustained campaign.

Have we learned nothing from history?  The savage killing of these Hebrew Franks, on the Sabbath no less, calls to mind the atrocities committed by Hitler.  Let us in the United States stand behind our Hebrew meat by-product allies and say “Genocide never again!”

As pressure mounted on the U.S. to respond, President Obama held an impromptu press conference on a golf course in Martha’s Vineyard.

I have seen the video of the cutting in two of the Hebrew meat by-product.  Let me be perfectly clear.  An attack on Hebrew National Franks is an attack on the interests of the United States.  We will not stand by and let this happen.  And as soon as I finish my round of golf I intend to start another round of golf.  But the entire time I will be thinking of and sympathizing with Hebrew National Franks.

With the threat of an all out war of annihilation against all Hebrew meat by-products, the United Nations Security Council met and condemned Israel for Zionist meat by-product aggression against the Arab peoples.

“As long as Israel holds Palestinian territory Hebrew National Franks will be at risk” said Ban Ki-moon, the UN Secretary General.

The people of Israel have brought this atrocity upon themselves.  We once again ask that the Zionist state remove back to its 1967 borders and commit itself to the peace process with Hamas.

Joey Chestnut, winner of the July 4th hot dog eating contest at Coney Island declared his intent to never eat another hot dog until Israel recognizes the right of the Palestinians to their own state.

I never realized before when I was gulping down hot dogs at these contests that I was supporting Zionism.  I now know that eating hot dogs is wrong.  I ask the Muslim world to forgive me.

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry again called for a two state hot dog solution.

Half the hot dogs can be called Hebrew National Franks. The other half can be called Palestinian National Franks.  Only by doing this can peace be restored.

Israeli Prime Minister Bejamin Netanyahu rejected Kerry’s demand.

What the hell’s wrong with people? These are just damn hot dogs.  Despite the name they have nothing to do with Israel.

From Hollywood Penelope Cruz and her husband Javier Bardem announced that they will no longer visit Israel to promote their movies.

By their actions Israel has proven that they don’t care about peace.  How many more meat by-products must be beheaded to satisfy Jewish war lust?

Meanwhile in Iraq ISIS has declared its intent to purge the caliphate of all Hebrew National Franks.

“It’s what the prophet would want” said one.

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