Yankees Beat Angels; AROD Rubs Cream All Over His Body

“Cream.  I love the stuff.  Oh, I mean it’s my favorite band.” ~ Alex Rodriguez

I can see AROD rubbing cream on his body from here.

I can see AROD rubbing cream on his body from here.

Tonight your humble blogger went to Yankee Stadium to see the Yankees play the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.  The Yankees started CC “Not the ace anymore” Sabathia (10-10 4.66) and the Angels countered with Jason Vargas (6-5 3.86).

The Angels got on the board in the top of the first.  After a Mike Trout walk, Vernon Wells did his best Bobby Abreu impression and didn’t hustle to the wall to catch what would have been the last out of the inning.   Mark Trumbo then hit the next pitch to deep left.  2-0 Angels after one.

In the bottom of the second Vernon Wells made up for being afraid of the wall by hitting a 1-0 pitch to right field.  2-1 Angels after two innings.

The Angels got a run back in the third.  J.B. Shuck led off with a walk and reached second on a Collin Cowgill single. After Mike Trout struck out Mark Trumbo singled to load the bases.  Chris Nelson then walked and J.B. Shuck was forced home.  3-1 Angels after three.

The Yankees scored in the bottom of the fourth.  Vernon “Afraid of the wall” Wells singled and then reached third on a Curtis Granderson double.  Wells scored when Jason Nix grounded out 6-3.  3-2 Angels after four.

The Yankees took a lead they didn’t relinquish in the bottom of the fifth.  Eduardo Nunez singled and then Alfonso “Yes my name is Alfonso but I’m not Italian” Soriano hit a 1-1 pitch over the left field wall.  4-3 Yankees after five.

In the bottom of the sixth the Yankees scored four times.  Jason Nix led off with a single, went to second when Lyle Overbay walked and then reached third on an Austine Romine sacrifice bunt. Eduardo Nunez then grounded out to second scoring Nix.  The next batter up, Soriano, singled home Overbay.  After Robinson Cano walked Mr. Cream (AROD) doubled them both home.  8-3 Yankees after six.

The Yankees scored four runs again in the bottom of the seventh.  Granderson led off and singled.  Then Lyle Overbay singled followed by another single by Romine.  Nunez reached safely on a fielder’s choice (Romine out at second) scoring Granderson. This brought up Alfonso “No….no….I am not Italian.  Really.  Please.” Soriano who hit a 3-2 pitch over the right field wall scoring Overbay and Nunez.  12-3 Yankees after seven.

In the bottom of the eighth the Yankees scored two more runs.  Not that I saw it.  The bottom of the 8th opened with thunderstorms.  As the tarp was being brought onto the field and it was already 10:30 at night I left.  Seeing as it would take 20 minutes to get the tarp on the field and another 20 minutes to get it off again I decided to head home get drunk in one of the bars across the street from Yankee Stadium.

Oh, and the Angels scored four runs in the top of the ninth.

Final score Yankees 14 Angels 7

Notes on the game:

This is the first game I attended since the 211-game suspension of Alex Rodriguez. To show their support for their embattled and juicing slugger “He rubs the lotion on his skin to hit more home runs” all fans were given a copy of Cream’s greatest hits.

Cream and the New York Yankees support Alex Rodriguez!

Cream and the New York Yankees support Alex Rodriguez!

The fan’s response to AROD  was mixed  Some cheers. Many boos.  We in the bleachers were booing.

Any future player who asks for a ten-year contract will probably be laughed out of the room.  AROD.  Albert Pujols.  Both bad ten-year contracts.  AROD will lose his appeal and miss all of next year.  Pujols is out for the rest of this year.  He’s only into the second year of his ten-year deal and he looks like a broken down old man.  Steroids will do that to you.  Not that I’m implying Puiols is juiced up.  Totally juiced up.

The Yankees are one of the few teams in sports that don’t have a mascot.  That was rectified (I said rectified…heh heh) before today’s game when their mascot was revealed:  Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

The only thing we have to fear is Phil  Hughes starting another game!

The only thing we have to fear is Phil Hughes starting another game!

And what better mascot for the Yankees than a man who gave America Social Security, seeing as how the majority of the Yankees are old enough to collect already.

Best heckle of the game:

My heckle of  “Man indeed has intelligence in common with the angels, but not in the same degree of perfection” got me beaten up.  Apparently the fans thought I was referring to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Second best heckle of the game:

The right fielder for the Angels was Collin Gowgil.  I serenaded him with some classic Neil Young:

Hello cowgirl in the sand
Is this place
At your command
Can I stay here
For a while
Can I see your
Sweet sweet smile

Reader mail:

D.B. of Philadelphia writes, “I like chocolate and pulling girls pigtails.”

The man’s from Philadelphia.  He actually roots for the Phillies. God have mercy on his soul.

S.J. of Harlem writes, “All I want is civilization. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition .The Geneva Convention, chamber music, Susan Sontag.”

Are you sure you live in New York?

L.K. of New Jersey writes, “My dog and his heavily armed dog followers have me on the run. What should I do?”

You see this is why we need gun control.  Once the dogs get their hands on guns human supremacy on this Earth is doomed.

A.P of Poughkeepsie, New York writes, “Prison break today at noon.  Pass it on.

Good luck with that.  But I would try to arrange another time for the prison break.  Perhaps when the shifts change?  There’s bound to be more confusion then.

Recommended reading material:

General of The Army: George C. Marshall, Soldier and Statesman, by Ed Cray.

And so my record stands at 6-4 this year.  My next game is Wednesday August 21st against the Toronto Blue Jays.

Go Yankees!



6 Responses

  1. I don’t understand. I would have thought that Mayor Bloomers would have all the Yankees behaving like good little boys. Or, is he a Mets fan?

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      Jim: Our beloved mayor is too busy infringing on our freedom and violating the constitution to bother about baseball.

  2. innominatus says:

    There is no such thing as “classic” Neil Young. Except, maybe, when Lynyrd Skynyrd is making fun of him. That’s as close as he comes.

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      Inn: You making fun of Neil Young? You making fun of Neil “f*cking” Young?

      Don’t make me send David Crosby over to your place to use your bathroom.

  3. innominatus says:

    CS&N are OK. Just keep the Y out of the equation.

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