Horton Hears The Who!

Wow man.  Like I hear things.  I see things.  My mind has been opened to alternate realities!

Wow man. Like I hear things. I see things. My mind has been opened to alternate realities!

The anthropomorphic world experienced tragedy today when Horton died in a stampede during a rock concert by the British group The Who.

“It’s horrible” said a friend.

Horton loved The Who, well except for Entwistle.  He was so excited to go to this concert.  The last time I saw him he was waving his elephant ears and singing “It’s a boy Mrs. Walker, It’s a boy.”  It’s just so sad.  So very sad that his life ended the way it did.

Horton had long been known in the community as something of a “stoner” with a penchant for hearing and seeing things that weren’t there.  According to a former teacher this could have been the result of his drug use.

One time he told me that he heard a tiny speck of dust talking to him and that this speck of dust was actually an entire planet, home to a community called Whoville where the Who’s live. I don’t have to tell you that after hearing that I urged his parents to enter him into drug rehab.  But they refused.  Who knows.  Perhaps I was too hard on him.  Maybe he did hear what he said he heard.  Science does tell us that alternate universes are possible.

After the “Whoville Incident” as it became known, Horton was shunned by his classmates except for a small band of devoted Who fans.

We used to get together after school and listen to their albums and smoke some pot. Man we all loved The Who.  Except for Entwistle of course.  And Horton kept telling us that specks of dust are planets.  Which made us all laugh.  I mean we were all stoned.  What did we know.  This whole alternate universe crap?  Better leave that Led Zeppelin. But still he was a gentle soul and we all liked him.

The end came for Horton before the concert by The Who even began.  The arena had sold 18,000 tickets but only 3,000 of them were for reserved seating. The rest were for what is called “festival seating.”

Horton held a festival seating ticket and had arrived hours before the concert to ensure that he got a good seat.

“He was one of the first to arrive” according to a fellow concert goer.  “He was right up against the door, holding a speck of dust he said was an alternate universe and singing “Deaf dumb and blind boy he’s in a quiet vibration land.”

According to investigators this probably led to his death by compressive asphyxia.  As fans heard The Who begin a sound check they pushed up against the door, crushing Horton.

“He looked right at me before he died” said a doctor called to the scene.

He held my hand and said, “Remember a person’s a person no matter how small.”  I think he was referring to Daltrey.

The detective in charge of investigating the accident has called it a “Tragic accident.  Though at this point we haven’t ruled out Entwistle.”

Horton’s family has asked for privacy in their time of grief.


One Response

  1. The science is settled on alternate universes. Hell, we’ve neen living in one ever sense Obama and Biden came on the scene. Its surreal.

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