Rangel Excused From Congress After Racial Slur

I am disgusted by my actions!

I am disgusted by my actions!

Veteran congressman Charlie Rangel (D-NY) was excused from all congressional activities today after the widespread fallout from his racial slur.

Rangel has entered a private treatment facility to get help for his actions, something he and congress agreed was in his best interest.

Rangel’s problems began when he was caught on a video using the “C” word to refer to white people.

“My actions were inexcusable” he said.

The more I think about what I did the more disgusted I get.  I keep trying to figure out how I could have said something so repulsive.  Right now I think it’s important that I take some time to reflect on the situation.  I also realize that there are people who will have a tough time forgiving me for what I’ve done.  The best thing for me, and for congress, is to step away for a period of time.  Oh hell who am I kidding.  White people are crackers!  There.  I said it.  They are f*cking crackers!  Where’s my booze?  Get me a hooker now!  F*cking crackers are everywhere!

Congress has not set a timetable for Rangel’s return.  Said house minority leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA):

Charlie will meet with professionals provided by us during this period of time to better help him understand how his words have hurt so many, including myself.  By the way, cracker is also my “safe” word.

Rangel spoke to the media, telling them his meeting with his fellow congressman was “highly emotional.”

I mean everybody was crying and not just the dude with the tan, Boehner.  As long as it takes, and whatever I have to do, I’m going to try to make this right.

Rangel then said goodbye and was driven off to a rehabilitation facility in northern Virginia.

“He has a tough road ahead of him” said a doctor.

To purge oneself of disgusting racialist thinking is not easy.  His first night here he had a relapse and called an orderly a “cracker ass mothef*cker.”  We had to sedate him. Then during our first session the next day I was eating some saltines and he started frothing at the mouth.  Like I said, he faces a long rehabilitation.

Part of Rangel’s recovery will be to expose him to images of famous white people such as Mr. Rodgers

I am a cracker.

I am a cracker.

Pat Boone

I too am white!

I too am white!

and Johnny Mathis.

What are you looking at, cracker?

What are you looking at, cracker?

“We hope by doing this to cure him soon.”

Rangel is expected to spend six to eight weeks at the rehab facility.



3 Responses

  1. This is a good plan. Rangel needs to spend some serious time with a shrink. The poor guy obviously hates himself. He knows that black is beautiful, but he has more cracker blood running through his veins than black blood. Like his fearless leader, Obama, he suffers from a real insentity crisis

  2. Brentfordian says:

    With all those crackers about someone needs to pass the man some cheese. May I suggest the iconic Australian brand?


    Every racist is just another human being in denial of their reality.

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