We must indoctrinate our youth to the glory of the state

Being an insatiable alcoholic reader I often find myself sleeping until 2 pm and then vomiting browsing the web looking for documents relevant to this blog.  Accordingly it gives me great pleasure to present to my readers a document I found on the Democratic National Committee’s website entitled “Declaration on Democratic Education.”

Preface

The Sacred Democratic Party has given careful consideration to the paramount importance of education.  In fact the education of youth and the continuing education of adults is rendered more necessary by the existence of Fox News and conservative bloggers.

For her part Holy Mother Democratic Party in order to fulfill the mandate she received from her founders to announce the mystery of statism is under an obligation to promote the welfare state.

Accordingly the Sacred Democratic Party hereby promulgates some fundamental principles concerning indoctrination of Democratic youth.

1. All men, woman and transgendered  of whatever race, condition or age, unless they are white men of northern European origin who don’t work in Hollywood and aren’t millionaires have an inalienable right to Democratic indoctrination. True eductation is directed towards the formation of the human person and of that society to which he belongs.  Democratic tradition calls this the social contract.
2. As they grow older they should receive a positive education in matters relating to sex.  Particularly questions like:

• Is ten years old too early to masturbate
• I’m 12 and I think I’m gay.  Can I have sex with an older man just to try it out?
  
• I heard prostitution is empowering. 
• I want to grow breasts and become a transsexual.  Why won’t Republicans let insurance companies cover this?
• How do I start a career in porn?
• My teacher wants me to touch his thing.
• Oral sex not dodge ball for gym class!
• My 14 year old girlfriend is pregnant and my parents won’t drive us to the abortion clinic.  What are my options?
• They didn’t tell me in health class if swallowing is good for me.  Do you have any documentation on this?
• I play trombone in the band.  Should I switch to a rusty trombone?
• Is bestiality an option?
• Is giving blow jobs for milk money an example of the social contract?

Accordingly  the Sacred Democratic Party affirms that children and teenagers have the right to be stimulated in the classroom by their teachers. We earnestly request that all those in charge of education ensure that young people are never deprived of the opportunity to express themselves sexually.

Such an education ensures that teens are introduced to their sexual organs and the sexual organs of their friends and teachers.  They will also benefit by being exposed at an early age on how to best achieve orgasm.

Moreover conscious of their sexuality they should learn to give witness to Democratic values and contribute to the growth of the Democratic Body.

End of Part I

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