I’ll be watching. Always watching.

Damage from the NSA spying scandal continues to plague the Obama administration, threatening free trade negotiations with the European Union.  Said President Francoise Hollande of France (pictured here),

I am shocked that spying is going on in this establishment!

“We cannot accept this kind of behavior between partners and allies.”

I  expect this type of behavior from a cowboy like Bush but not from an enlightened man like Obama.  When he won the Nobel Peace Prize for ending the Vietnam war I thought that a new age had dawned.  I never expected this.  Spying on allies is just wrong.  None of the security reports I got on my desk every day about activity in the United States hinted at the existence of Prism.  And yes I know my last name is Hollande but don’t mistake me for a Hollander or whatever the hell you call them.  I spit on them. I spit on the Hollanders.  Our security reports indicate they are defenseless!  It is time to invade!

From the Netherlands Prime Minister Mark Rutte (pictured here)

President Obama is acting like Captain Hook!

expressed shock and outrage.

The United States has unlimited resources.  Unlimited resources to spy on us. I expected more from President Obama. When America elected a  president who had won a Nobel Peace Prize for ending the east coast-west coast rap feud I rejoiced.  Finally America would get a president who loves peace as much as Europe does.  Instead he is acting like Captain Hook.  I don’t like Captain Hook.  He is mean to me.  Just like the French.  I thank god I get detailed briefings every day on what the French are planning.

President Obama remains unfazed by the criticism from his European Allies.

We live in a dangerous world.  Right wing teabaggers threaten the existence of the socialist worker’s paradise I am trying to build.  It is necessary to gather intelligence even about our allies.  Distasteful but necessary.  Just remember I am watching you.  Always watching. Always.

Breaking news:  France has declared war on the Netherlands, which in turned declared war on France.

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