State Police on Lookout for Serial Groper

El Vice Presidente strikes!

Police along the I-95 corridor are on the lookout for a serial groper who attacks women in truck stops.  The groper, who calls himself “El Vice Presidente” targets biker women and without their consent engages in physical contact.

“It was gross” said one victim of El Vice Presidente.  “I was just hanging out having a coffee and this creepy old man asks me to sit on his lap.”

Realizing she was dealing with the infamous groper, and fearing for her safety she agreed.

“He then started touching me all over.  I could smell alcohol on his breath.”

She was about to ask him to stop when one of the groper’s gang, who were all wearing suits and ties and carrying guns told her to “Chill bitch.  Let El Vice Presidente touch you.”

It was the presence of the groper’s gang that inflamed the other bikers the most.

“Look we’re used to old white men coming in here asking to touch the female bikers.  It’s a fetish and we tolerate them.”

Male bikers are not amused

“But this pervert brought his gang with him.  They all had guns and were wearing sunglasses so you couldn’t see their eyes.  It was intimidating.”

Another biker agreed.

“I just had to sit there while this old man felt up my woman.  Normally I wouldn’t take it but our gang doesn’t carry weapons.  I asked one of his gang what their name was and he said ‘The Secret Service.’  The SS?  What kind of fascists are these?”

A third biker was so disgusted by the display he pulled out his rosary.

“We just stopped off for some coffee before Mass. I don’t know El Vice Presidente’s story.  But he seems lost.  I’ll pray for him.”

After violating the personal space of the female biker the serial groper known as El Vice Presidente left with his gang, but not before promising, some say threatening, to come back with his “black daddy.”

Police are asking all bikers to remain calm if they come in contact with El Vice Presidente.

“If you see him ask him for his card.  We can use that to track him.  He’ll probably give it to you.  God knows he doesn’t seem to intelligent” said a trooper.



7 Responses

  1. Matt says:

    Seriously, look at El Vice Presidente in the first pic. Did he have a stroke or something? He looks like he has some neurological damage or something.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matt: El Vice Presidente es stupido. or el stroko. Si.

  3. El Vice Presidente´ has an IQ that doesn’t register on the standard scale. Who would want to grope that biker bitch? Only a complete moron.

  4. innominatus says:

    El Vice Presidente did not have a stroke. He just morphed into Gary Busey.

  5. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: It’s all about fetishes for el Vice Presidente.

    Inn: Now that is just cruel……to Gary Busey.

  6. Groping biker-skanks in a hole in the wall bar is always the mark of a smooth professional politician.

  7. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: It’s almost Kennedy-like!

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