Kardashian Divorce Signals Rise of the Fembots

Fellow readers, you are the resistance!

Dateline:  Huddled in a subway tunnel in New York City.

In the week since the shocking announcement that Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce from Kris Humphries after 72 days society, as we know it, has broken down.

As I lay huddled in this subway with other brave New Yorkers I can feel the bombs dropping overhead.  I pray for those caught in the rain of death from the air.

Since the outbreak of hostilities 300 million  have died around the globe.  Europe is one giant radioactive cloud.  The last contact from Europe was a Twitter message from Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi:  “Doom!  Doom!  Where is my Cialis?”

The rise of the Kardashian-bots started on the west coast when fembots, shooting laser beams from their titanium-encased nipples took over California after a brief struggle.

The last poignant message from that doomed state came from Charlie Sheen:  “Fembots!  Fembots!  Oh, cool.  Hi ladies.”

The chaos soon spread eastward.  NASA’s headquarters in Houston was destroyed by the fembots.  Satellites soon fell to the Earth, killing millions and offending Muslims who counted on NASA to boost their self-esteem.

Then  Philadelphia fell as the fembots poisoned the local cheesesteak supply.

Traveling up New Jersey to New York City there was a brief moment of optimism that the fembot attack could be stopped when the deadly fembot caravan got caught in a multicar pileup on the New Jersey Turnpike.  But the fembots soon recovered and entered New York City.

At first the city welcomed them.  Mayor Bloomberg asked the fembots if they would like to march in the Village Halloween Parade and warned them not to smoke in public.

But soon the fembots turned on New York City, taking over the TV stations.  This message was sent out on all channels:

Attention world leaders.  We are the fembots.  Your world order, as you knew it, is now over.   And can anyone tell me where we can find some parking spaces in Manhattan?  So, to recap:  World order is over.  Where are the parking spaces.  Thank you.

And then the fembot air force started bombing us.  As I lie in this subway tunnel I ask myself:  How could we have been so naive?  How did we not know that the Kardashian divorce announcement was the signal for the rise of the fembots?  How did we not know that Kardashian herself was a fembot?

We owe it to the survivors of this holocaust, we owe it to our children to never let this happen again.

If anyone on the outside is reading this know that you are now the resistance.

Good luck.

The fembots have entered the subway tunnel!

Signing out (for the last time)

Manhattan Infidel


5 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    Do the fembots have rearends like Kim Kardassian? If so, then I, for one, welcome our new fembot newsletters and would like to subscribe to their overlords.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: In the immoral words of Bugs Bunny: So…she’s mechanical!

  3. I’m very impressed by Kardashian pulling the whole wedding scam. She’s smarter than I assumed she was.

  4. Take your meds, my friend. Please, take your meds!

  5. MK says:

    I wonder if they’ll take care of the muslims jihadists. That’s me, always looking for a silver lining. 😉

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