Debt Ceiling Negotiations Continue

Eat your damn peas!President Obama met today with congressional leaders as the latest round of negotiations into increasing the country’s debt limit extended into the evening.

The meeting started normally enough with President Obama welcoming congressional leaders to the oval office.  House Majority Leader Eric Cantor then complained that the cuts that were agreed to last week had shrunk and that spending was still increasing.

Enraged, President Obama stood up and shouted “Eat your peas!  Eat your peas!  I am an adult and you must eat your peas!”

Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, misunderstanding the President replied that “I have many people in my district who like peeing on their partners.  And it’s a beautiful example of the tolerance and multiculturalism in a largely Democratic district.”

Speaker of the House John Boehner then asked the President if he had a serious counter proposal to the Republican’s desire to cut spending significantly before an increase in the debt ceiling could be approved.

President Obama shouted at Boehner to “shut up or I’ll freeze you.”   Turning to Minority Leader Pelosi Obama continued, “He (Boehner) has a mean look.  I prefer happy looks.”

Becoming more agitated, President Obama began pacing up and down the office.  At one point he gestured towards the Republicans and said, “I can make you all go away!  Anytime I want to!”

Boehner then reminded the President of the Republican majority in the House, saying “Mr. President there are a million things in this universe you can have and a million things you can’t have.  It’s no fun facing that. But that’s the way things are.”

Clearly enraged by Boehner’s insubordination President Obama called him “Mr. Ears.”

“I’ll make you all go away if you’re not nice to me!”

Tensions increased and were in fact in danger of breaking out into physical violence when First Lady Michelle Obama entered the Oval Office and apologized for her husband’s behavior.

He is in many ways still new at being human.  I gave him power so that he could live.  He will use it – always.  And he will destroy you, or you will be forced to destroy him.  Come Barry.  It’s time for you to go.

President Obama began to panic, asking congressional leaders to help him.

She’s not like us.  She doesn’t feel.  I…..I…..I wanna stay…..stay…..stay….stay…stay.

President and Mrs. Obama then disappeared in front of the shocked Congressional committee.

The negotiations will continue tomorrow with Vice President Biden representing the Administration.

“I hate ceilings.  Sometimes I jump up and down and hit my head.  I get sad when my head hurts” said the Vice President.



9 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    This is surprisingly similar to something I was going to write. But you put yours up first. Bastard. 🙂

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: It’s been thoroughly established that I am, in fact, an evil bastard.

  3. It’s good to see that Mr. President is making a genuine effort to be more adult.

  4. Otis P. Driftwood says:

    When someone told obama it was for “adults only” he said, “You know, I’ve been call a lot of things in my life, but I’ve never been called a “dultz”. And while I admire the creativity it deeply offends me.”

  5. Mark says:

    What did Obama do to the crew of the Antares?

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Mark: Aha! Someone who recognized the reference. Now be nice mr. ears.

    As far as the crew of the Antares, well, we’ve lost contact. No one knows what happened to them. Might have been an explosion.

    Otis: I’m sure our president is still shocked at people asking him to act like an adult. He’s never been accountable for anything before.

  7. Matt says:

    The dems must think that we need to “give peas a chance?”

  8. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matt: all we are saying….is give peas a chance!

  9. Greg says:

    Wow! Nancy certainly represents some wild people. Poor President Obama, but what will happen to our country? Perhaps we’d be better off if our representatives disappeared too.

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