Here at the world wide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel we take seriously our responsibility to our readers. What do my readers want? What topics would they like to see in Manhattan Infidel? Is it safe to read Manhattan Infidel at work? I didn’t know she was a cop! Sex toys? Should I invest in gold? Spank me again. I’m a bad bad boy.
After an exhaustive analysis of recent site analytics for Manhattan Infidel, combined with naked Skype sessions, I mean questionnaires, I now present the future of Manhattan Infidel.
Search Terms
- .54% googled “love” before coming to Manhattan Infidel. Obviously people are not coming here for love. Hence in the future there will be no stories about love on these pages. Unless kidnapping Olivia Wilde
and holding her in my basement until she agrees to marry me counts as love. You know I’m the only man for you Olivia. Hey, what’s that in your hand? Mace? I thought I searched you. My eyes! Oh god that stings. (You would have thought I’d have built up a certain tolerance for mace by now.) - 3.28% used the search term “Gandalf.” Obviously 3.28 percent of my readers still live with their parents and have never known the touch of a woman. They probably have bad acne, no social skills, cry after pleasuring themselves and frequently cross dress. In other words, they are fellow bloggers. Um, not that I’m implying I cry after pleasuring myself. I do not cry after pleasuring myself. While cross dressing. Oh who am I kidding. I feel such shame.
- 39% of my readers came to Manhattan Infidel via googling in the search term “chickens.” Frankly I find this disturbing. What sort of sick freaks come to my site? You disgust me. You and your animal fetish. Don’t ever come back to this site. Ever! I vomit in your general direction. What? They were searching for chicken recipes? Well then…….forget what I just said. Welcome to Manhattan Infidel!
- 58% of my readers used the search term “big boobies.” I have no problem with this. Searching the web for big boobies is proof of intelligence and refinement in my readers. So let’s all pop open the champagne and celebrate big boobies! God bless our freedoms. God bless my intelligent readers. And to show my appreciation for your search term I am now going to post photos of some big boobs:
What? Oh…..wrong kind of boobs. Sorry.
(743)
Are you sure it was boobies they were looking for y no los bobos?
Like the comedian who told his girlfriend: “Why don’t you push them together and make one good one?”
I see 2 glans and 1 mulva- make that vulva.
JC: Now why would someone waste their time on the “internets” looking for breasts? oh, yeah. Never mind.
Inn: Those three pushed together would make one gigantic epic fail boobie.
TSC: It’s a freak of nature.
I’m never googling “big boobs” again.
Matt: well, you can still google “big boobs” at work.
Epic Fail Boobie; are we talking about Joy Behar’s cans here?
I R confuzzled.
Shamus: Please don’t mention Joy Behar. The mere thought of her makes me want to to kill myself.
I always try to stay abreast of the boobs.
After those boobies, i’m definitely hurling, now which way is the nearest liberal, never mind, mecca will do.