“So I’m ugly.  So what.  I never saw anyone hit with his face.” ~ Yogi Berra

On Sunday afternoon the Yankees ended the first half of the season with the final game of a four-game series against the Tampa Bay “No Diablo” Rays.  The Yankees started CC Sabathia (13-4 2.72) and the Rays started James Shields (8-7 2.33).

After yesterday’s excitement (Jeter had his 3000th hit, but more on that later) today’s game was an old-fashioned pitchers duel.  Each team only had four hits.  The time of the game was a respectable (and also old-fashioned) two hours and 11 minutes.

The Yankees almost scored in the bottom of the third.  Eduardo Nunez (playing third for the injured AROD who will be out 6-8 weeks to have surgery on his knee) and Jeter hit consecutive singles and both runners moved up after a Curtis Granderson groundout.  But Teixeira then flied out to center field and B.J. Upton threw Nunez out at the plate.  0-0 after three.

And that’s how the score stayed until the seventh.  The Rays went down 1-2-3 in the fourth, fifth and six innings.  In the top of the seventh B.J. Upton singled but was out when Granderson threw to Teixiera and doubled him up after Sean Rodriguez flied out to center field.

And that brings us to the bottom of the Seventh and the “run that should not be” where the Yankees scored the only run of the game on two egregious throwing errors by Tampa.  Robinson “I still miss Melky Cabrera” Cano led off with a single.  After Jorge “women find my ears very sexy” Posada flew out to shallow center Cano was caught between first and second and should have been thrown out but Upton threw the ball past first base, past the Yankee dugout, past Yankee Stadium, past the Harlem River, into Manhattan.  Cano was awarded third on the throw.  So there was Cano, sitting on his gift of third base when he made his second potential baserunning blunder of the inning. Shields turned and threw to third base, only he threw wild as well.  Cano scored on the error.  Yankees scored on one hit and two errors.  1-0 Yankees after seven.

And that was the final score.  Sabathia was dominant, pitching a complete game shutout while striking out nine and walking only one.

Notes on the game:

As everyone knows Derek Jeter, Yankee shortstop and significant other of Minka Kelly, went 5-5 in Saturday’s game, getting his 3000 career hit in the process.  Derek, you couldn’t do this on Sunday?  The game I went to?

Really Derek.  3000 hits and Minka Kelly?

I repeat.  Mr. Jeter, 3000 hits and Minka Kelly?

Why must you have both?  Aren’t you being greedy?  You can have your 3000 hits but save Minka for the little guy: the hardworking bloggers of this world.

Minka – what’s Derek have that I don’t.  Besides athletic talent, good looks and millions?  I have a blog.  That should count for something.

But this points out a more troubling Yankee tradition:  Greed and selfishness.

• Jason Giambi would not share his steroids.
• Phil Rizzuto would not share his cannolis.
• Joe Pepitone would not share his toupee.
• Mickey Mantle would not share his hookers (he would, however, share his Clap.)
• Joe Dimaggio would not share Marilyn Monroe.
• Babe Ruth would not share his hot dogs (unlike Mantle though he was quite generous with his hookers.)

I think Homer Simpson put it best:  “Just like a professional athlete.  Always wanting more.”

The woman sitting next to me brought a bucket of hamburgers with her to her seat.  I had never seen a bucket filled with hamburgers before.  She ate every one.  During the sixth inning I felt a searing pain in my left side.  Out of hamburgers and still hungry she had started to eat my thigh.  “Must consume” she kept saying.

After going 5-5 yesterday Derek Jeter returned to form, going 1-4 including a ground out and two strikeouts.

In the second inning a woman in the stands was hit in the head by a foul ball off the bat of Floppy Ears Posada.  She was bleeding from her head as medical teams looked at her.  The Yankees expressed concern for the woman and then designated her for assignment.  “We had to free up a roster spot” said Girardi.

Recommended reading material:

The Life of Greece (The Story of Civilization) by Will Durant.

Reader mail:

D.B. of Philadelphia writes, “Your Yankees may be doing good now but we will still win the World Series this year.”

I apologize for D.B. people.  He’s obviously a tad gone in the head.

The (in)famous M.B. of Brooklyn writes, “So, you’re going to stop putting words in my mouth?”

Definitely.  I’ve learned my lesson.

The (in)famous M.B. of Brooklyn also writes, “Sometimes at work I get drunk and sexually harass my underlings.”

The (in)famous M.B. of Brooklyn also writes, “What the hell did I tell you about putting words in my mouth.  Okay, you hear that banging on your door?  That’s me with a baseball bat. I have a baseball bat in one hand, a crossbow in the other and a pistol between my teeth.  You are going down bitch!”

Wow, M.B.  You weren’t this violent when you lived in California.

So at the All Star break the Yankees find themselves with a record of 53-35, in second place in the AL East one game behind that team from Massachusetts whose name shall not pass my lips.

My record at Yankee games this year stands at 9-0.  My next game is Monday July 25th against the Seattle “Down with the capitalists” Mariners.

Go Yankees!

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