President Obama, continuing his outreach to foreign lands, visited King of Prussia Pennsylvania. During his three-hour stopover, Obama apologized for the “sometimes insensitive” actions of the Bush administration that “alienated an important foreign ally like Prussia.” He then sought out the King of Prussia for a photo op.
After visiting all “57 states of this glorious union”, President Obama had aides find another foreign country for him to visit.
“After all, with these Republicans now in power I want to visit non racist countries that like me and appreciate my many gifts” Obama told them.
After looking at a map, White House insiders narrowed it down to Rome, New York and King of Prussia Pennsylvania. Rome was ruled out because “upstate New York is too damn cold this time of year” and because it didn’t a King.
Arriving at King of Prussia with Secret Service and a support entourage of 2,000, President Obama stepped out of his limo and approached citizens. Shaking hands and posing for photos, President Obama praised the special relationship between the United States and Prussia:
For over 200 years the Prussians have stood beside us. Let us not forget it was the Prussians who fought with General Washington at Gettysburg. It was the Prussians who landed beside us on the beaches of Normandy. It was the Prussians who landed on the moon first, paving the way for a black man like Neil Armstrong to plant the flag of the United Nations.
He then vowed to make it a “priority” of his administration to rebuild the frayed alliance between the two countries, an alliance that has been neglected by the “go-it-alone cowboyism of the Bush administration.”
President Obama then asked to be directed to the King of Prussia. Confused citizens pointed him in the direction of the local Burger King.
As President Obama approached the store, an actor, dressed in the costume of the Burger King shook his hand. President Obama bowed deeply to the King and praised his benevolence:
This is what I like to see. This is the perfect form of government: benevolent socialism. Unlike the United States, which is mired in a cruel and oppressive form of capitalism, this King of Prussia cares for his subjects and give them burgers! Would that we had such a program. And now that the House has a Republican majority I fear we never will.
The Burger King then informed President Obama that if he wanted a meal it would be $6.15.
“I gladly pay this tax” said the President “Because the income will be redistributed to the poverty-stricken citizens of Prussia.”
He then thanked the Burger King for allowing him to visit his realm of Prussia and vowed to return.
President Obama’s visit left the citizens of King of Prussia exhilarated.
“I never in my life thought I’d get the opportunity to meet Tiger Woods” said one.
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“President Obama’s visit left the citizens of King of Prussia exhilarated.
“I never in my life thought I’d get the opportunity to meet Tiger Woods” said one.”
RAAAAACISM!!!!!!!1111111eleventy!!!!!1111!!!!!
KS: Damn. Does this mean I’ve lost Eric Holder’s respect?
Dude, I think you have lost Eric Holder’s respect.
In other news: Eric Holder is a massive toolbag, so you haven’t lost much.
That’s right Obama, you bend over like a little b*tch for the Burger King.
Barney Frank is the Dairy Queen.