President Obama Names September 11th “National Apology Day”

President Obama before meeting with GodSpeaking from downtown Manhattan, President Obama declared that September 11th will now be known as “National Apology Day.”

“What happened to the World on September 11, 2001 was unfortunate.  The Muslim world was thrown into war.  A war they did not start.  But now we have it in our power to end it.”

The ceremony started with schoolchildren from California who sang a song praising President Obama.  After the children were finished the former Muslim Chaplain of the FDNY said a prayer where he asked for Allah to bring down fire upon the enemies of Islam in Afghanistan and Iraq.  Then, finally, President Obama took the podium.

“Before the Twin Towers were brought down by controlled explosions orchestrated by my predecessor many officeworkers in these buildings were forced to jump to their deaths.  On their way down they might have asked themselves ‘Why me?.’  Well, their deaths you might say served a greater purpose.  It opened the eyes of America. 

“Too often the United States has been insular, arrogant and unconcerned with the rest of the World.  We have not appreciated how our arrogance and our actions have angered people.  September 11th was a wake up call for America.  The past 8 years have been difficult ones for us as the previous administration used the incidents of that day to wage wars of aggression upon the peace-loving Muslim World.  But all that is ended now.  I hereby announce that the new tower that will rise here will be known as the ‘Crescent Tower.’

“By naming this building the Crescent Tower I hope to remind America of the many contributions of Islam to American society.  Indeed, our Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and our Bill of Rights are based on Islamic models of jurisprudence.  The role of women in American society has greatly benefited by Muslim example.

“In addition to giving this tower a name, I am also declaring that henceforth September 11th will be known as ‘National Apology Day.’  On National Apology Day I urge all Americans to spend a few moments on their knees facing Mecca while with deep humility we ask the Muslim world to forgive us our sins.”

President Obama then invited the assembled schoolchildren to join him on his knees as he lead them in humble prayer.  The Great One’s lips moved in silent prayer, a moving example for America to emulate.

When the prayer was finished President Obama went back to the podium and said “Before I leave I’d just like to say one more thing.  I want everyone here to ask their congressmen to support my efforts to reform health care.  The Muslim world enjoys public mandatory health insurance and we can learn from their example.”

He then blessed the children before departing on the Presidential helicopter.



2 Responses

  1. Dr. Dave says:

    I wish Obugger would jump from a building.

    That is part of the public option – The Manhattan Infidel

  2. KingShamus says:

    That’s not satire, dude.

    That’s how Teleprompter Jesus actually thinks.

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