Mr. Spock, formerly first officer of the Starship Enterprise is suing Star Fleet for “emotional damage due to discrimination” over a controversial incident at his Pon Farr ritual on his home world of Vulcan. While little is known of the specifics of the Pon Farr  (“It is not spoken of with outworlders” said Spock) it […]

Charlie Brown received today the bad news he has been dreading for months:  His elementary school had formally accused him of raping the little red-haired girl he had been obsessed with. Brown’s predator tendencies first came to the attention of the school’s doctrinal counselors when he was overheard telling his friend Linus that he liked the […]

Local resident and hunting enthusiast Elmer J. Fudd was gunned down by a SWAT team today when he refused to give up his “assault” double-barreled shotgun. “We had no choice” said the Captain of the county’s newly-organized SWAT team. He refused to give up his shotgun, or rifle.  I don’t know what it was but it […]

Halloween. A time of candy.  A time of dressing up in costumes.  A time of terror. For this blogger anyway.  Many people view Halloween as a harmless holiday.  These people are wrong.  Since I always have the welfare of my readers in mind I will use this post to warn of the terrors of this […]

Stung by a fourth straight quarter of sluggish economic growth, Sauron of Mordor has launched an aggressive ad campaign hoping to attract tourists from Middle Earth. Spearheaded by the advertising firm of Donahue and Rivera, the new campaign entitled, “One Simply DOES Walk Into Mordor” is designed to highlight the natural beauty of the land. […]

Church and Dwight Company, manufacturer of Trojan Condoms, which account for 70.5 percent of all condom purchases in the United States, has announced an unprecedented and exclusive endorsement deal with former Beatles drummer Pete Best. “This is certainly a historic occasion” said  an executive from Church and Dwight at a press conference announcing the deal. […]

Today at Manhattan Infidel it is my distinct pleasure to welcome one of the greatest scientific minds of our time, host of PBS’s “Cosmos:  A Spacetime Odyssey” Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. MI: Welcome Dr. Tyson.  I’m a big fan. NDGT: Naturally.  That’s to be expected. MI: Um. What? NDGT: Well naturally I would expect a person such as yourself […]

Famed extra-terrestrial Marvin the Martian was ordered by a judge today to attend 200 hours of anger management counseling sessions after he once again threatened to destroy the Earth. “Mr. Martian” said the judge at the sentencing. I have listened to the testimony.  I have heard eyewitnesses describe how you planned to destroy the Earth […]

Reacting to recent developments with NFL players and domestic violence, commissioner Roger Goodell implemented “Operation Sensitive” which took effect immediately. “The NFL has heard the outrage of its critics” declared Goodell. The NFL is a brand.  A brand that has entertained Americans with their game for decades.  But that is not enough anymore.  There is […]

The sensational trial of the Frankenstein monster, charged with drowning a little girl is set to start this Monday. “This is a slam dunk” said the District Attorney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone is innocent until proven guilty but this guy is guilty as sin.  Just look at his face. It’s the face of a murderer. […]