First Officer Lt. Commander Spock of the Starship Enterprise is letting it be know that he is unimpressed with the gift of a mood ring, given to him by his captain and friend James T. Kirk. “Vulcans have no emotion” Spock confessed. For my captain to give me a mood ring is highly illogical. I’ve been […]

King Moonracer, leader of the island of Misfit toys, has announced that he is abrogating the Treaty of 1992, which granted dominion status to the island and will instead seek independence. “It is time we took our place in the world as a free and independent nation” said Moonracer. The wounds of our war of […]

Jabba the Hutt, powerful crime lord on Tatooine, has decided to put an end to body shaming. “For far too long people like I have been ridiculed by thin people” said the cartel leader. Well dammit. No more. I’m sick of it. I may be a ruthless, feared crime lord but I have feelings too. It’s bullying […]

Aquaman has announced that he will not attend any future Christmas parties thrown by the Justice League. “I got an invitation in my email from Wonder Woman” said the superhero. Normally they just hold the party and never tell me when or where it is. I’m used to the lack of respect. But since I […]

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And there will be a Christmas this year. After months of painful negotiations Santa has reached a labor deal with the elves. “We have labor peace in our time” said the worn-out Christmas father figure. These negotiations were tense and there were times when I thought a strike […]

As is normal before their weekly meetings, Edith Keeler makes sure that there is plenty of coffee available. Her support group co-founder, Sarah Connor, is in charge of buying donuts. The two women previously had nothing in common before they found out that they were both targeted for death. “I don’t have to tell you that […]

For years Charlie the Tuna hoped he would be selected by Star-Kist Tuna. But the call never came. “They always rejected me. Said I wasn’t fresh enough” said Charlie. Rejected by Star-Kist Charlie resigned himself to a life in the sea, knowing he’d never be able to see the exotic land above the water. Then […]

Reeling from the loss of the love of his life, social worker Edith Keeler, Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise has reluctantly entered the dating scene again. “It’s been tough the past few weeks” said Kirk. I really thought Edith and I (pictured here) would spend the rest of our lives together. She […]

Wonder Woman, founding member of the Justice League, demigoddess, United Nations Executive Ambassador, known in her homeland as Princess Diana of Themyscira, has let it be known that she is “sick of your shit.” “I fight crime. I fight for justice” Wonder Woman shouted while carrying a placard outside the Justice League’s headquarters that said, […]

Hillary Duff, aka “History’s Greatest Monster” is catching heat for her racially insensitive Halloween costume. Duff, heretofore an uncontroversial star, and her boyfriend decided to go as a pilgrim and a native American. “I should have known I was in trouble when people started crying when they looked at us” said the distraught former child star. […]