With Congress’ mandated switch to digital television weeks away attention has shifted to those most vulnerable to losing their television signal – the millions of cats and dogs who, lacking opposable thumbs, will not be able to set up converter boxes. “S”, a short haired calico voices complaints that are typical of many cats.  “I […]

Bugs Bunny, popular Warner Brothers cartoon character of the ’40s and ’50s has died.  He was 92.  Born Yankel Mordecai Bunnystein in Manhattan’s lower east side to Hungarian immigrants, Bugs got his start in the 2nd Avenue Yiddish Theatre.  After building a local following with his wisecracking persona and trademark line of  “Oy ve, what’s […]

From the 50 states, Canada and Europe serial killers from around the globe met in New York City at the First Annual Serial Killer Convention and Barbeque to discuss the future of their industry.  With much of the world suffering from the economic downturn the serial killer business has perhaps been one of the hardest […]

In what will surely be a blow in ongoing efforts to rehabilitate its image, the LAPD today beat a Klingon warrior unconscious at a traffic stop. Shortly before 2 PM officers of the LAPD noticed a suspicious Klingon Bird of Prey parked illegally on Sunset Boulevard.  “I ran its license plates and discovered that the vehicle had […]

Speaking from Lovelock Correctional Center in Nevada, former football star and actor O.J. Simpson announced today that the long search to find the real killers of his ex-wife Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman has ended. “It is my pleasure to state that I am in fact the real murderer” he declared as photographers snapped his […]

Amid growing concerns on the street after record-breaking 4th quarter losses, Lucifer announced today that he will be forced to cut back on Hell’s services.  Gone are the days of round the clock 24/7 flayings, pokings, dismemberments and other tortures by his minions.  Instead, the Region of the Damned will adopt a more streamlined 9 to 5 business […]

A man identified as 32-year old Charles Smith lies in a coma at County General Hospital after viewing a soccer game at a local watering hole. Sources say he walked past a bar and, upon hearing the boisterous crowd inside, entered and asked if the “football” game was on.  When told that the “football match” was indeed […]

Robin Hood, famous as the outlaw of Sherwood Forest who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor announced today he is joining forces with Nike. Standing next to Nike Chairman Philip Knight, Robin Hood announced an exclusive sponsorship deal that will extend into the 2020s.  With his arm draped around Robin Hood, Knight […]

Today in City Hall Park thousands rallied to free the so-called “Oxygen Radicals”. “We will not rest as long as our government has the oxygen radicals in jail.  This is a travesty!” said Ronald Marxman of Brooklyn who was elected spokesman for the protestors based on the fact that he had the largest paper mache […]

After their recent show in Tampa Florida members of a successful “Extreme Metal” band packed up their gear.  But behind the scenes was tension. This band has a dark secret:  Its drummer is a fan of the Carpenters. “As far back as I can remember I’ve always like their sound” declared Danny R.  “Whenever I need to feel […]