Clarice Joins #MeToo Movement; Vows to Fight “Culture of Harassment” at North Pole!

I am woman hear me roar!










Clarice, best known as the former love interest of now-disgraced Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer has announced that she is throwing her support behind the “#metoo” movement.

“For far too long we women have had to suffer at the hands of men” said the newly-radicalized doe.

One of my earliest memories was watching my father murder my mother. He came home one day in a bad mood. She didn’t have dinner ready and he said he was going to teach her a lesson with his “hooves of discipline.”  He pounded her into submission. Then cut her head off, skinned her and cooked her at 475 degrees for one hour. We ate her that night. After dinner he said “Now Clarice I want you to know I get no satisfaction from doing this. But order in society depends on discipline. And discipline starts at home with the woman cooking for the man. One day you’ll understand. Now go find yourself a man because as a woman you are useless without one.” I believed him. That’s why I hooked up with Rudolph.

The Rudolph in question was the once-heralded Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer who became a hero after flying Santa’s sleigh during a snow storm. Later it was revealed that Rudolph was on steroids and he was banned from the sleigh team for life.

“Rudolph looked lonely” said Clarice.

So I went over and kissed him on the cheek and told him he was cute. I was just trying to be nice. And find a man like my father said. But then Rudolph grabbed me and threw me to the ground, biting me on the neck. He penetrated me while saying “My nose ain’t the only thing that’s big and red.”  I cried silently while he kept shouting “Take it! Take it all!”  I didn’t know what to do. I thought that is what people in love do and it’s what I deserved.

Raped by Rudolph Clarice was then passed on to Santa.

He seemed like a nice old man. A father figure. But then he asked me if it was alright if he removed his pants. He was naked from the waist down and kept telling me to look at his ass.  “Tight for an old man, isn’t it” he said. He would clench his buttocks one at a time while saying “left cheek right cheek left cheek right cheek”and asking me if his ass turned me on. He was all grabby hands too. Kept touching me while moaning “Oh god I love young doe flesh!”  Again I did nothing because I thought this treatment is what a woman deserved.

At her lowest point Clarice contemplated suicide. That is until a chance encounter with legendary Hollywood actress Jody Foster.

Let me show you true love, Clarice.

She opened up a new world to me. Told me I didn’t need the patriarchy. I was in love. And the first time we made love the passion was unmistakable. We’ve been inseparable since. We even got matching #metoo tattoos! I now have a purpose in life: punishing men and making love to Jodie.

As for Rudolph, when reached for comment from a bar in the North Pole where he was drinking with Santa he denied any wrongdoing.

“Bitch is just jealous I dumped her” said Rudolph.

“F*ck the reindeer trash” seconded Santa.

Through her lawyer, Clarice announced plans to sue both Rudolph and Santa for emotional damages.

“On behalf of all women enough is enough” she said.


Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>