I f*ck on camera. For money!

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of the House of Truth otherwise known as Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing Stormy Daniels. Now if you do not know who Stormy Daniels is all you need to know is that she f*cks on camera for money.  And if you can’t believe a woman who publicly fornicates for money then my faith in humanity is sadly mistaken.

MI: Good afternoon Miss Daniels

SD: Please, call me Stormy.

MI: Good afternoon Stormy.

SD: So how does this work? Do you have a pole you want me to dance around?  Role play?  Because role playing and costumes are extra.

MI: Um. No. I just want to talk.

SD: Oh, you’re one of those. I meet men like you all the time in my line of work. Sad, pathetic middle aged men who want to look at naked women but are too shy or too guilty to touch them. Losers really.  

MI: Um. No I’m a reporter.

SD: Oh why didn’t you say so. I f*cked Donald Trump!  But not on camera.

MI: Yes that’s what I want to talk about.

SD: I didn’t charge him either. I sometimes give out freebies.  You know. Just putting my business out there hoping to gain more clients.

MI: Okay so you had sex with Donald Trump. Why is this news?

SD: I f*cked Donald Trump!  And he was married at the time! That’s immoral.

MI: Immoral. You mean like fornicating publicly for money?

SD: Watch it pal or I won’t give you a freebie.

MI: If you don’t mind me saying you’re hardly what I would call beautiful. Certainly not enough to want to see you f*ck on camera.

SD: Oh that ain’t nothing honey. You should see me without makeup. Here. Let me take my foundation off.

[Stormy takes off her makeup revealing her inner self.] 

Stormy without makeup

 

 

 

 

 

 

MI: Holy shits that’s scary.

SD: I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.

MI: What?

SD: Never mind. I’ll find someone to give them to me. I didn’t come all the way from the future for nothing you know.

MI: So you’re a terminator?  Why are you here?  To kill Sarah Connor? To destroy humanity?

SD: Nothing like that. My skill set is directed towards f*cking on camera for money. And the porn market after the Skynet apocalypse is pretty small.  Turns out no one wants to see machines having sex. I figured I’d make more money in the past. Also Hillary Clinton and Fusion GPS paid me to have sex with Donald Trump.

MI:  Okay.

SD: Can I put my makeup back on?

[She puts her makeup back on] 

I know what boys want

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MI: That’s even scarier.

SD: So before I go back to the future do you want to fornicate on camera for money with me?

MI:  I’ll pass.  Any last words you’d like to say to the young women of America?

SD: Yes. Math is hard. Get silicone implants and fake orgasms on camera for money. It’s empowering!

And so ended my interview with the woman who f*cks on camera for money.  Children do not try this at home. Remember she is a professional.

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