Santa v Easter Bunny: Dawn of Justice!

Hijo de punta!









Big screen adaptations of Comics are all the rage now and with Easter just three weeks away I thought it was time to go see the latest movie in that genre:  Santa v Easter Bunny: Dawn of Justice.

Much like Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice the movie focuses on two heroes and the inevitable clash between them. I found the movie to be highly enjoyable and a new spin on two of our favorites.

Without giving too much away I will give the basic plot of the movie and offer a brief scene from the climatic duel at the end.

Santa has become a controversial figure.  The Easter Bunny, who resents Santa’s white privilege, feels that Santa is an existential threat to society and decides to take him down. Eventually they have a huge fight to decide dominance. Santa, using his superior fire power, battles the underdog Easter Bunny to the death.

EB: Prepare to die Santa. The world will be a better place without you.

SC: You disgust me Easter Bunny. You are puny and pathetic!

EB: Yeah well at least I don’t hide behind my white privilege!

SC: White what?  What the hell are you talking about?

EB: You know what I mean, whitey! You can go anywhere in the world and break into homes, eat their milk and cookies and no one objects. Do you know why?  Because you’re white! What do you think would happen if I tried that? I’m Puerto Rican you know!  Do you think white people would let me into their homes?

SC: No. But then again you probably have at least one knife on you.

EB: That’s a racial slur!  Take it back or I’ll cut you with my knife, hijo de puta!

SC: Your knife is no match for my AR-15!

[From Santa’s sleigh Rudolph throws Santa the AR-15]

EB: What the hell? No one needs an AR-15! It’s a weapon of war.

SC: But I use it for hunting, self-defense and shooting down armed Hispanics.

[The Easter Bunny throws his knife on the ground]

EB: Don’t shoot!  Don’t shoot!

[The Easter Bunny runs away]

SC: Yeah you better run!

[Police arrive on the scene]

Policeman: Santa are you okay?

SC: I’m fine. Thank god you arrived.

Policeman:We white people have to look out for each other.

SC: I appreciate it.

Policeman: Who attacked you? Where did he go?

SC:  It was the Easter Bunny!

Policeman: Alright everybody we are looking for the Easter Bunny. He’s Hispanic so watch out. He probably has at least one knife on him!

[The policeman leave. Shots are heard off screen]

SC: So long Easter Bunny!

[The policeman return]

Policeman: We got him. He tried to surrender but you know how their kind is so we shot him 67 times.   And look what he had on him. It’s a reefer cigarette!

SC: You did the right thing. You know how Hispanics are when they are all hopped up on reefer.

Policeman: I’m just glad we were able to help. Society has the right to defend itself from the lower races.

SC: Damn right. And you’ll all have a little something extra in your stocking this Christmas.

I recommend going to see it. Now some claim that it’s controversial and anti-people of color. But I never noticed such a message in the movie.


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