I am a sensitive liberal

Fresh off an official State visit to India where he wore a dazzling display of authentic Indian costumes, Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau continued his tradition of “dressing like the locals” during a visit to the city of San Francisco during a week-long stay in the Republic of California.

Despite his well-known penchant for local costumes many Californians were still surprised when he appeared naked at several events in San Francisco.

Trudeau’s representatives attempted to quell any controversy over his choice of nakedness.

“The Prime Minister is a citizen of the world and respects all local cultures” said his spokeshuman.

When the trip to San Francisco was planned the Prime Minister spent weeks studying local San Francisco customs and dress. That’s just what the Prime Minister does. Unlike America’s racist President our PM respects local cultures. It was after intensive study of the city that the Prime Minister decided he wanted to appear naked in public. He was quite excited for the opportunity to do this. “People in San Francisco walk around naked in public” he told me. “I want to do that! It’s a tradition in San Francisco and I think it’s a great one. Besides, after a Canadian winter my ball sack needs a little sunshine.”

While many appreciated the Prime Minister’s sensitivity to city customs not all were happy.

“We don’t all walk around naked” said one resident.

Granted a lot of us do. In fact most of us seldom wear clothing. But that’s in private. Only a sizable minority chooses to walk around naked in public. And while I admire their enthusiasm for public nakedness I don’t really need to see a 70 year-old man’s wrinkly grey pubic hair when I’m trying to eat my kale at a vegan health food store.

Not content to merely appear naked in public the Canadian Prime Minister also defecated in a Bay Area Rapid Transit System station.

The Prime Minister is a serious man and he wanted a serious San Francisco experience.  Defecating in a BART station seemed like a good thing to do. Many homeless do it. And while the Prime Minister is technically not homeless his residence in Ottawa is an official residence and not his personal one. So in a way he is homeless. Therefore public defecation seemed only natural.

After defecating in the BART station the Prime Minister met with San Francisco mayor Mark Ferrell and expressed regret that his trip wasn’t longer.

The Prime Minister was also hoping to hyphenate his last name to make it sound more Mexican. He was then going to shoot a white girl. But there just wasn’t enough time. He intends to come back next year if possible and do these things.

Next up on the Prime Minister’s tour is Los Angeles where he plans to steal some copper and take part in a race riot. After that he travels to Guatemala where he is hoping to join the gang MS-13 and assassinate a rival cartel leader.

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