Manhattan Infidel Presents Handy Tips for Dealing With the Younger Generation

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Just follow my advice and all will be well

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sooner or later it will happen:  You will find yourself middle aged and will have to deal with the younger generation, either at home or in a workplace environment. You may find yourself saying “I cannot relate to these youngsters.”  You may find yourself viewing them as an alien race or perhaps as shady eastern Europeans who may or may not want to cut off your fingers because you may or may not owe them money.

Do not despair. I have compiled the following tips (certified to work by yours truly) that will help you find common ground with the youth of today.

Music

Music can be a bone of contention between the older and younger generations. You may find yourself saying “Kids listen to this shit?” or “Sounds like a band filled with shady eastern Europeans who may or may not want to cut my fingers off because I may or may not owe them money.”

Try and find some common ground.  I like to open a conversation with young folk about music by saying something along the lines of “I’m not really into rap music but I understand this Chance the Rapper fellow is quite the bees knees!” By doing this you will be signalling your openness to new music. If all goes well you might introduce the younger set to the rebellious music of your youth such as Paul McCartney and Wings or The Carpenters.

Relations between the sexes

Interaction between the male and the female is more complicated than in our youth. Gone are the days when women were willing to perform any sexual act as long as they knew you were a male feminist and a liberal Democrat. Women today demand respect. If you wish to have sexual relations it helps to ask first.  I like to start off with “May I place my hands upon your breasts and stick my tongue down your throat in a way that respects your female bodily autonomy?” Women will appreciate your thoughtfulness and may think twice before deciding to mace you.

Negroes

The negro of today is a contentious lot and can often be found throwing rocks at CNN reporters or kneeling at sporting events. Gone are the days when the negro seemed happy that barriers were being broken and he was being welcomed into white society. Try and find common ground. Mention that you think Chance the Rapper is the bees knees. The Negro will appreciate your attempt to bond. If that doesn’t work mention that race is fluid and sometimes you identify as black like Rachel Dolezal. If that doesn’t work mention your admiration for Angela Davis.

Politics

Youth of today tend to be conservative. This may come as a shock to a child of the ’70s such as you. Be patient and try to win them over to your point of view. Invite them to a meeting of the local commutariat. Mention that it is the international year of the worker and you hope to overthrow the capitalist order. If he seems unresponsive to the glories of socialism persist in “re-educating” him.

So to recap these are my tips for dealing with the younger generation:

  1. Find common ground
  2. Preach the glories of socialism
  3. Avoid shady eastern Europeans who may or may not want to cut your fingers off because you may or may not owe them money

Good luck!

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2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    What helpful tips!

    For some reason I’m reminded of Vanilla Ice. I don’t know why except that he was a rapping pop genius and a legend.

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      Vanilla Ice is cruelly underrated. I rank him right up there with Shakespeare in terms of his genius with the English language.

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