Well it happened. Despite rising crime, despite rampant corruption, despite a crumbling infrastructure and a subway system that is a mess, Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio) was re-elected by the good citizens of Gotham. Accordingly I now present another of my award winning hasn’t won jack shit templates. Enjoy!
Why did you vote for Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio)?
- I believe he has done an excellent job and deserves four more years
- He’s a Democrat. Duh!
- I live in the upper west side which is predominantly white and rich. Why wouldn’t I vote for him?
- I’m Hispanic and I believe the Democratic party is the best choice if I want to live in a socialist shithole like the one I left in Central America
But hasn’t crime risen under his watch?
- I live in the upper west side which is predominantly white and rich. We have no crime
- I’m Hispanic. If I don’t sell drugs what am I going to do? It’s not like the white man is going to give me a job
- Rise in crime? I blame Donald Trump
- He has a black wife! And she’s a lesbian too! This alone is enough to factor out the rise in crime when I vote.
Come on. You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed all the homeless on the street?
- You must be a Republican. Only a Republican would take offense to homeless on the street
- Yes I’ve noticed them. I blame Trump.
- Socialism is a compassionate system that allows us to make economic progress
- I like seeing the homeless on the street. They are gritty and authentic.
What about the corruption scandals that surround Mayor Wilhelm, Jr.?
- You’re just trying to distract me from Trump colluding with the Russians!
- This is fake news
- Socialism is a compassionate system that allows us to make economic progress
- Yes I realize I already said that about socialism but it’s true. So cut the mayor some slack, will you? He’s trying to bring about a socialist workers’ paradise. Inevitably there will be “shortcuts.”
Mayor Wilhelm, Jr. has stated that he wants to eliminate private property and have the State control everything
- I live on the upper west side and gave shitloads of money to his campaign so socialism will not affect me
- I’m Hispanic and I want my free shit!
- Socialism is a compassionate system that allows us to make economic progress
- Seriously. It does. Just ask Venezuela!
But honestly. Why did you vote for the mayor?
- I’m a rich, white crony capitalist. His policies won’t affect me
- I’m Hispanic and capitalism is a tool of the white man
- Donald Trump!
- I arrived in this country illegally and don’t speak or understand English. I was told to vote for him to get free shit
Now it all makes sense. The whole thing.
(120)
What an excellent Template!
Bill de Blasio is a true hero of the MillSoc revolution. Long may he reign!
Socialism is a compassionate system that allows us to make economic progress.