Taco bowl!

Thanks to Wikileaks we now have a treasure trove of hacked documents from the Democratic National Committee. Because of time constraints I’ve been up for 24 hours doing meth and drinking beer and am about to crash I have not been able to read them all. However I do have a short selection ready for my readers and I must say it is interesting.

Document Number One (The Hispanic Outreach):

The US Hispanic “Spic” population continues to grow at an alarming rate. Boy these spics sure can breed! We have one shot to capture the spics or lose the spic vote for generations.

• Hispanics are the most brand loyal consumers in the world. Spics are simple peoples and when they buy something are usually too stupid to search for alternatives. That’s where the Democratic party comes in.
• Hispanic brand loyalty is generational (they breed a lot you know.)
• Once a brand loses its loyalty Hispanics never re-engage. They are unforgiving. Spics are very emotional and hot-tempered. I mean I love them but they have the emotional maturity of children.
• If you earn Hispanic loyalty they will always be loyal to you. (Like children dependent on their parents).
• Hispanics are most responsive to story telling. Unlike white people who prefer graphs and figures and facts Hispanics can be moved by entertaining stories. The narrative doesn’t have to make sense as long as its enjoyable. Come on people, haven’t you ever watched a Mexican soap opera?

Without a comprehensive plan we risk losing the spics and then we’d have to reach out to the blacks again and no one wants to do that.

Objectives:

• To empower and inspire Hispanics living or dead 15 years or older to vote Democratic. A Hispanic who doesn’t vote Democratic is an inauthentic Hispanic. See: Cubans!
• Note: While we want to empower Hispanics we don’t want to empower them too much. We don’t want them as our equals or in positions of authority. Unless it’s a Mexican soap opera. Some of those Mexican women are hot. I assume they are full blooded Spanish not half-breeds. I had a Hispanic move in next to me. Very loud. I’d like to build a wall around his apartment.
• To develop a relationship with Hispanics based on trust and inclusion.  And tacos! God we love tacos! I befriended a worker at a Taco Bell and kept telling him I was down with the Hispanic struggle. Turns out he was Polish. What the hell man? I went back a week later to complain to the manager that he should only hire Hispanics. But he had already fired everyone and replaced them with automated machines. He said he couldn’t afford the 15 dollar minimum wage. The racist bastard!
• To increase the turnout of Hispanic voters. We feel the best way to do this is to threaten them with deportation if they don’t vote Democrat.

Well, as you can see the Democratic Party cares about minorities and only wants what’s best for them. Assuming they vote Democratic. This rules out inauthentic minorities such as Cubans and the Chinese.

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