The red tights really bring out my penis, don’t you think?

Popular superhero Mighty Mouse continued his fall from grace after it was revealed that a woman who once came to him for help is suing the rodent for sexual harassment.

“I was in danger and he was great” the unidentified woman said in court papers.

He landed right in the middle of the alley and started singing “Here I come to save the day” and then he beat up the people who were trying to rape me. I was so grateful I kissed him and he said “Slow down honey. Mighty Mouse has a voracious sexual appetite.”  I though he was just making some awkward attempt at humor. He then asked me for my number. For administrative purposes he said.

At first thankful for his help she didn’t mind the occasional 2 am phone call from the superhero.

He said he was lonely and needed someone to talk to. He said that being a superhero didn’t give him much time for a private life. I felt sorry for him. So we’d talk and talk. One night the subject got around to fantasies and hidden desires. He asked me if I had any. I said no I’m pretty happy. Then he said he had a few forbidden fantasies and would I mind if he sent a few photos? I didn’t know what to expect. I figured he was role playing. Instead he sent me 600 photos of his penis. He said since he had saved me I owed him and that he was going to come over to my place and do some “freaky shit.”  “You’ve heard of 50 Shades of Grey? How about 100 shades of Mighty Mouse?” I hung up and blocked his number. 

After blocking Mighty Mouse’s number and thinking the worse was over she went on with her life. Instead he started showing up at her office. Frightened, she did research online to see if this had happened before.

I found out that there was a support group for those who have been harassed by Mighty Mouse. I went to a few meetings and it was packed. Hell even the Lone Ranger and Tonto were there. Tonto would just shake his head disgustedly and say “Tonto and Kemosabe not turned on by rodent genitalia.” It was then that I knew I wasn’t alone.

It wasn’t until a home invasion incident that she decided to take action.

I came home from work one day and I discovered him in my bedroom. He was naked and sniffing all my panties. When he saw me he smiled and said, “If you’re nice to me I’ll tell  you the which ones I jerked off all over.”

Frightened, she ran out of her house to a neighbor and called police who arrived and found the superhero lying on her bed, surrounded by her panties.

“He appeared to be insensate” said an officer.  “We arrested him on the spot.”

The American Association of Superheros, aka “ASS” has stated that Mighty Mouse’s actions do not reflect the core values of the organization.

“We have a very strict code we operate by” said the association’s president, Superman.

He then sent photos of himself and Lois Lane having sex to all the reporters attending his press conference.

“There’s a reason they call me the Man of Steel” he said while winking at reporters.

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