My Exclusive Interview with Brian Williams

The fog or war is affecting my reporting

The fog or war is affecting my reporting

As Americans are well aware, the last week has been a trying one for our country. One constant has been the reassuring coverage of the events provided by our mainstream media. In these disordered times I was lucky enough to snag an interview with none other than lead MSNBC correspondent Brian Williams.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Williams.

BW: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. It’s a pleasure to talk to a blogger.  I remember when I started my career in 1981 I had a blog.

MI: Um. The internet didn’t exist then.

BW: Oh that’s right. Sorry. It must be the fog of war.

MI: What war?

BW: The civil war in Dallas.  The end of times.

MI:  Aren’t you being a little melodramatic?

BW: I remember I was there when Philando Castille was shot. I was in the car. I remember telling him, “Phil, do what the cop says.  No sudden movements. You know how cops love to shoot black men.  Especially black men who have busted taillights.”

MI: He was stopped because he was a suspect in an armed robbery.

BW: The facts are irrelevant. All I remember is the horror of the white cop shooting him. I heard the gun go off and I looked over at Phil and he was bleeding.

MI: You weren’t there.

BW: Yes I was.

MI:  You weren’t there. You weren’t in the car.

BW: I’m sorry. Perhaps I wasn’t.  The fog of war rules apply now.

MI: What?

BW:  Dallas.  A scene of war.  You know President Kennedy was shot and killed in Dallas.

MI:  Yes I know.

BW: I remember being in the limo when I heard the first shot.  I turned around and said “President Kennedy that’s gunfire.  Probably from a white cop angered by your support of civil rights.” I was about to shield him with my body when the fatal shot hit him.

MI: You weren’t there.

BW:  Yes I was.

MI: No you weren’t.

BW:  I’m sorry.  Perhaps you are right. It’s the fog of war rules.

MI: Right. Now let’s talk about the events of Thursday night.

BW:  It is the end of times.  Civil war. It’s urban warfare.  It’s an urban army of people killing in the name of Alton Sterling.  

MI: Actually it was a lone gunman.

BW:  Did you know that President Kennedy was assassinated not far from the spot where the shootings in Dallas occurred.

MI:  You’ve mentioned that several times.

BW: I remember when Lee Harvey Oswald brought in some curtain rods to work at the Texas Book Depository.  I said, “That’s odd.”  I wish I had investigated more. But I was under the fog of war.

MI: Okay well that’s about all the time – 

BW: Did you know Jack Ruby told me he was going to kill Lee Harvey Oswald?  I didn’t think he was serious.  But you can understand.  The president had just been assassinated.  In Dallas.  There was the fog of war everywhere.

MI: For god’s sake that never happened.  You were four years old when Kennedy was assassinated.

BW: That’s impossible. I remember it clearly.

MI: Alright. Thank you for you time.

BW: You’re leaving?

MI: Yes.

BW:  Let’s be careful out there.  I always say that to my fellow police officers before a shift.

MI: Goddamn it.  That’s Hill Street Blues.

BW: Got matching suits and Beatle boots and a sign on the back of the car and we was ready to work in a go go bar.

MI: That’s Frank Zappa from Joe’s Garage.

BW: I was his lyricist for years.

MI: No you weren’t.  Good bye.

BW: Fog of – 

MI: War. Yes, yes, I know.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so hard on Brian Williams.  My memory is faulty too. Benedict Arnold used to often say that to me when we were discussing his defection to the British.


Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>