The fog or war is affecting my reporting

As Americans are well aware, the last week has been a trying one for our country. One constant has been the reassuring coverage of the events provided by our mainstream media. In these disordered times I was lucky enough to snag an interview with none other than lead MSNBC correspondent Brian Williams.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Williams.

BW: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. It’s a pleasure to talk to a blogger.  I remember when I started my career in 1981 I had a blog.

MI: Um. The internet didn’t exist then.

BW: Oh that’s right. Sorry. It must be the fog of war.

MI: What war?

BW: The civil war in Dallas.  The end of times.

MI:  Aren’t you being a little melodramatic?

BW: I remember I was there when Philando Castille was shot. I was in the car. I remember telling him, “Phil, do what the cop says.  No sudden movements. You know how cops love to shoot black men.  Especially black men who have busted taillights.”

MI: He was stopped because he was a suspect in an armed robbery.

BW: The facts are irrelevant. All I remember is the horror of the white cop shooting him. I heard the gun go off and I looked over at Phil and he was bleeding.

MI: You weren’t there.

BW: Yes I was.

MI:  You weren’t there. You weren’t in the car.

BW: I’m sorry. Perhaps I wasn’t.  The fog of war rules apply now.

MI: What?

BW:  Dallas.  A scene of war.  You know President Kennedy was shot and killed in Dallas.

MI:  Yes I know.

BW: I remember being in the limo when I heard the first shot.  I turned around and said “President Kennedy that’s gunfire.  Probably from a white cop angered by your support of civil rights.” I was about to shield him with my body when the fatal shot hit him.

MI: You weren’t there.

BW:  Yes I was.

MI: No you weren’t.

BW:  I’m sorry.  Perhaps you are right. It’s the fog of war rules.

MI: Right. Now let’s talk about the events of Thursday night.

BW:  It is the end of times.  Civil war. It’s urban warfare.  It’s an urban army of people killing in the name of Alton Sterling.  

MI: Actually it was a lone gunman.

BW:  Did you know that President Kennedy was assassinated not far from the spot where the shootings in Dallas occurred.

MI:  You’ve mentioned that several times.

BW: I remember when Lee Harvey Oswald brought in some curtain rods to work at the Texas Book Depository.  I said, “That’s odd.”  I wish I had investigated more. But I was under the fog of war.

MI: Okay well that’s about all the time – 

BW: Did you know Jack Ruby told me he was going to kill Lee Harvey Oswald?  I didn’t think he was serious.  But you can understand.  The president had just been assassinated.  In Dallas.  There was the fog of war everywhere.

MI: For god’s sake that never happened.  You were four years old when Kennedy was assassinated.

BW: That’s impossible. I remember it clearly.

MI: Alright. Thank you for you time.

BW: You’re leaving?

MI: Yes.

BW:  Let’s be careful out there.  I always say that to my fellow police officers before a shift.

MI: Goddamn it.  That’s Hill Street Blues.

BW: Got matching suits and Beatle boots and a sign on the back of the car and we was ready to work in a go go bar.

MI: That’s Frank Zappa from Joe’s Garage.

BW: I was his lyricist for years.

MI: No you weren’t.  Good bye.

BW: Fog of – 

MI: War. Yes, yes, I know.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so hard on Brian Williams.  My memory is faulty too. Benedict Arnold used to often say that to me when we were discussing his defection to the British.

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