The Easter bunny before his conversion

Wearing a traditional thawb, the Easter Bunny shocked the world today by announcing that he has converted to Islam and will now be known as “Muhammad Bunny.”

“I will no longer be a slave to the Christian boys and girls” said Muhammad.

Instead I shall spend my days reading the Koran and serving the prophet for God is great. I know my decision disappoints many, If only they would convert to the one true religion and the one true god.

The former Easter Bunny’s decision to convert to Islam has been hailed by many in the media.

“We hope that Muhammad can become the face of Islam and use his celebrity to fight Islamophobia and capitalism” said an editorial in the New York Times.

Over at MSNBC Lawrence O’Donnell, host of The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell, devoted his entire show to the conversion and had this to say:

Americans are racist people. We know that. Racist, homophobic and Islamophobic. The average American is afraid of brown peoples, which is what the majority of Muslims are. Every day millions of innocent Muslims in the United States are confronted by bigotry from white, Christian gun owners. But now that Muhammad has bravely converted we now have a face of Islam that won’t frighten those Americans who live in red states. As a practical European socialist, I admire many of the tenets of Islam. It truly is the religion of peace.  I pray for the safety of Muhammad Bunny. May he remain safe from the retaliation of bigoted Americans.

On the View Whoopi Goldberg said that Muhammad’s conversion was the most important thing to happen in America since Islamic sympathizer Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence.

You know Tom was a slave holder, right? Just like a lot of white Christians. But you know he almost freed his slaves because he read in the Koran that slavery was immoral. He did. This happened. But he was afraid to convert because his fellow white slaveholders would have shunned him. Well now Mohammed Bunny doesn’t worry about shunning because he is braver than ole Tom Jefferson.

Disney, which owns Easter, has announced that a search is on to replace Muhammad. Said Bob Iger, President of the Walt Disney Corporation:

Naturally we want a recognizable face, one that won’t mind working long hours for little pay.  Someone who hasn’t worked for awhile and could use the money. We’re thinking Joe Piscopo. We originally wanted McLean Stevenson but someone told me he was dead. I was wondering why I hadn’t seen him lately. I mean come on. Hello Larry was fantastic. I think he played a Muslim in that show.

The final word belongs with Muhammad Bunny, who, when a reporter asked him what that smell was coming from his apartment replied, ‘It is not a bomb. I do not make bombs. No bombs here. Please go away, Allah Akbar!”

(41)