Riddler Not Invited to Any of Gotham’s Swank Social Events and He’s Getting Pretty Damned Tired of It!

I feel excluded. Sorry, I should have put that in the form of a riddle.

I feel excluded. Sorry, I should have put that in the form of a riddle.

With the advent of Summer, Gotham’s high society social schedule is in full swing. One person not celebrating however is The Riddler.

“No one invites me. Ever!” said the distraught Riddler.

It’s like they don’t think I’m good enough for high society or something. But I can be swank. I can be very swank. I’m more intelligent than Gotham’s so-called high society. I have superior intellect in every way. And I’m fun too!  Who doesn’t like riddles and word games? I bet I’d be the life of any society party.  They just have to give me a chance.

Billionaire industrialist and leading light of Gotham’s society scene, Bruce Wayne (Bruce Wayne@NotBatman) admits that they have purposely not invited the Riddler but that it is his own fault.

Frankly we just don’t like him. He’s annoying. Very annoying. And no one likes riddles. Riddles are annoying. Riddlers are annoying.  Look we all feel sorry for him. He’s a nerdy fellow who has to go through life looking like Frank Gorshin and that can’t be easy. But lay off the riddles will ya?  Just relax. People might like you more if you didn’t try so hard.

The Riddler announced that he will be holding his own high society parties.

That’s right. I’m going to create a little competition. We’ll see who has the swankiest parties in Gotham. I’ve hired Mr. Freeze and his backup band to perform. We’ll have theme parties. Cosplay.  ’70s appreciation nights.  I’m quite the Hustler dancer if I do say so myself. I bought a disco ball off eBay! People will flock to my parties once they hear about the Disco ball. The Joker even told me he’d even show up. Of course he could be joking. You never know with that guy.

Hoping to avoid a Gotham high society civil war this summer, Bruce Wayne has let it be know that they might invite the Riddler if he wears a suit and tie.

Our parties are classy. Formal affairs. We don’t let any just riffraff in. Well, the Penguin but that’s only because he’s cheap entertainment. We like to watch him waddle. Don’t tell him though. And sometimes we let Poison Ivy attend. But that’s only because she looks hot in her formal yoga pants.

Having heard that he might be invited if he wears a suit, the Riddler has cancelled his plans for competing parties and was last seen shopping at Today’s Man.

It’s been years since I wore a suit. But I think I found one that will look great on me.  

I'm bustin' a move in my formal clothes

I’m bustin’ a move in my formal clothes

Let’s see them try to not invite me now! I dare them.  I still have to get pants taken out a little bit.  Gotham does have plenty of McDonald’s you know. But once that’s done I’ll be the highest of high society.

Upon hearing that the Riddler had bought a suit Bruce Wayne started laughing.

“We’re only inviting him so the Penguin can pants him. Now that’s entertainment!”


2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Why would anyone invite the Riddler kniwing he campaigned to allow horse drawn carriages outside Central Park?

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