This is the last known photograph of Santa taken before tragedy struck

The world suffered an unspeakable tragedy today as Santa Claus, his sleigh, and all reindeer were lost when they exploded over Sweden during their round-the-world Christmas Eve trek.

“We lost all downlink with Santa when he was over Sweden” said an official with NORAD.

At first we thought it was just an issue with the satellite but then we started getting reports of a ball of flame and debris falling over Sweden. We looked at our radar to see if it could be any other planes but sadly there were none.  It had to be Santa. 

While officials at the NTSB flew to Sweden to inspect the wreckage, ISIS claimed responsibility for the downing.

“We have killed the fat infidel and his fat reindeer”  declared a balaclava-wearing ISIS spokesman.

No longer will the fat infidel bring decadent presents to the fat infidel children of Europe.  We demand that Europe live according to the dictates of the Prophet or face total war at the hands of the Mujahideen. Our fighters do not fear you. Submit!

As to what caused the explosion that killed Santa many point to lax security in the North Pole.

“With all the cargo he was putting in his sleigh, did anyone think to put the toys through metal detectors?” said an incredulous FAA official.

Others speculate that perhaps a surface-to-air missile brought down Santa.

“Ironically, with Rudolph’s red nose leading the way, his sleigh would have been easy to track and shoot down” opined NSA Director, Admiral Michael S. Rogers.

As villagers in Sweden dined on venison meat, children around the world woke to find out that Christmas was cancelled.

“I didn’t want to tell my kids Santa was dead so I told them that Donald Trump wouldn’t let Santa into the country because he was Muslim” said one parent.

In Washington, President Obama was notified of the tragedy on the 18th hole and immediately rushed to the White House to confer with his security council.

“The President wanted to know two things:  Was this workplace-related violence, possibly by a suicidal Prancer or Vixen and could gun control laws have prevented this tragedy” said Susan Rice.

After meeting with his advisers Obama held a press conference in the Oval office.

“This is not the time to idly speculate” Obama declared.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Sweden. But how many more of these tragedies must we endure until Republicans pass gun control legislation? How many more must die? I can’t work with these Republicans any more. They are beholden to the NRA and they seem to like it when people die. Well if they won’t act I will. I have a pen and I will act unilaterally and sign the common sense gun control laws the Republicans fear. Perhaps if they had acted sooner Santa would still be alive.

From the North Pole, a grieving Mrs. Claus called her late husband “a wonderful man who cared about kids” and asked for privacy in this difficult time.

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The Easter Bunny has gone into hiding.

“Screw this shit. No camel fucker is going to blow me up” he said before disappearing.

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