His Lordship Barack Obama’s Holiday Message to his Subjects

Come to me, my subjects for the gifts the State will give you are unending

Come to me, my subjects for the gifts the State will give you are unending

Each winter solstice, at this time, it is my tradition to broadcast a message to my people in all parts of the world. I am speaking to you from my own home, where I am spending the solstice with my family except for Michelle who is shopping in New York City; and let me say at once how I hope that your children, the ones who haven’t been aborted, and please let us not let Republicans roll back women’s rights, are enjoying themselves as much as mine are on a day which is kept in honor of the Child born at Bethlehem nearly two thousand years ago. A child born in occupied territory, as it still is today.

Most of you to whom I am speaking will be in your own homes, whether you own them or the homes are FEMA provided but I have a special thought for those who are serving their country in distant lands far from their families in wars of aggression I inherited from my predecessor. Wherever you are, either at home or away, in snow caused by climate change or in sunshine, I give you my affectionate greetings, with every good wish for Christmas, Kwanzaa and the New Year.

At this holiday time our thoughts are always full of our homes and our families. And now with marriage equality the law of the land our families can include same sex couples. This is the day when members of the same family try to come together, or if separated by distance or events meet in spirit and affection by exchanging greetings and hopes that the Republican congress do not roll back the social safety net.

But we belong, you and I, to a far larger family. We belong, all of us, to the United Nations, whose laws supersede our flawed Constitution. Like our own families, the United Nations can be a great power for good – a force which I believe can be of immeasurable benefit to all humanity, especially those of the Muslim faith. And that is why I am proposing an United Nations tax for all U.S. citizens.

Since my accession to the throne of the Presidency in 2009 your loyalty and affection have been an immense support and encouragement. I want to take this Holiday to thank you with all my heart and to ask once again that Republicans pass common sense gun control.

Many grave problems and difficulties such as climate change and private ownership of guns confront us all, but with the strength to venture beyond the safeties of the past where some people cling to guns and religion I know we shall be worthy of our duty to fundamentally transform America.

Above all, we must keep alive that courageous spirit of adventure that is the finest quality of youth; and by youth I mean my youth in Indonesia. That spirit, Allah be praised, still flourishes in this old racist country.

On this broad foundation let us set out to build a truer knowledge of ourselves and our fellowmen, to work for tolerance and understanding for gays, lesbians, transgendered and bisexuals for the betterment of human kind’s lot upon this earth. An Earth that is constantly threatened by climate change. Climate change that will be slowed thanks to the Paris accords.

 If we can do these things with courage, and the generosity that comes with redistribution of wealth, then surely we shall achieve that “Peace on earth, Goodwill toward men, women, transgendered, bisexual, trisexual and quadrasexual” which is the eternal message of the Democratic Party, and the desire of us all.

On the first Christmas, in the fields above Bethlehem, as they sat in the cold of night watching their resting sheep, probably because banks foreclosed on their homes, the local shepherds must have had no shortage of time for reflection. They might even have uttered a prayer for our Earth and its protection.  A protection against climate change and Republicans.

I wish you all a very happy Holiday

And I’m signing a bill banning all private ownership of guns.

Thank you.



2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Without guns how are we able to create enough flak to bring down Santa’s sleigh?

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